Crocheting Hippo-Hatamus

You want to know how I get my creative juices a-flowing? No, don't worry, it's nothing that will make you feel weird later for knowing. My thought process goes something like this: "I have a craft fair tomorrow. I've been selling a lot of frog hats lately. I should make another animal hat for tomorrow. What is another kind of ugly animal that you don't often see as a hat? Ooh, a hippo, and I even have a bunch of purple yarn!"

That's all.

I started by making just a basic beanie, then added the details. For the snout, I crocheted a large, triangular piece, then stuffed and whip-stitched it on. To give the appearance of separate "cheeks," I simply cinched the middle of the bottom row. Then some triangular ears, a couple nostril flaps. When I got to the eyes, I looked at many photos of real hippos, to get an idea of how I would design them. What I noticed is that hippos have fairly ugly eyes, simultaneously saggy and bulgy.


True to life, I made the eyes dark, bulging in their saggy sockets. Keene said, "I think it would be more relatable if you added some white to the eyes." I said, "But you don't really see the whites on real hippos." He said, "But it would be more relatable." I said, "Who relates to a hippo anyways?" I kept it ugly, its eyes dead and full of despair.


(Ignore the line running down the side of the snout. It was a failed experiment which was later axed.)


Unfortunately, in addition to being an ugly, unrelatable animal, the hat is also hugely un-photogenic. No matter how many times I tried, no matter the angle, lighting, or model, the hat just looked weird and shapeless.



But on the bright side, this hat could totally chomp you in half.

At the Spa

Okay, we didn't actually take any pics while at the spa. So here are pics of us at Beau Jo's Pizza:

As Kortney said, "Keene's nose zit was not welcome in this picture":

Heeeeeey!

That kid is snarky

Aye aye aye. Kayden. It's really hard to get after him about being snarky when I'm too busy laughing behind my hand.

So, we were all in the car last night, on our way to take Kayden to his dad's house. Maia was eating (fast food, since we were en route).

Several times, I heard Kayden telling her to close her mouth while she eats (she is quite a loud eater). She continued to eat with her mouth open.

Finally, Keene said something like, "Well, Kayden, you have to give her a break if she occasionally opens her mouth to breathe or something..."

Without missing a beat, he said, "Isn't that what a nose is for?"

Hello? Is it me you're looking for?

Last night, I was watching a movie on my computer while crocheting. In the living room, Keene was typing away on his computer.

Suddenly, I get a call. I look at the ID and it's Keene. I look up and he's still typing. I hold up my phone and say, "Are you calling me?"

He pulls his phone from his pocket, looks at it, and says, "Oh, I guess I was."

I reply, "Apparently, something in your pocket really wants to talk to me."

In my mind, I imagine this to be the conversation:

Kelli: Hello?
Keene's pocket: ::heavy breathing::

The Significance of Markings on Lenox China

(Reposted from Lenox-China.net)

It is believed that the first china markings were done by Meissen Royal Manufactory in the eighteenth century. The king of Saxony, Augustus Rex (also known as Augustus the Strong), commissioned the first production of hard-paste porcelain in Europe. Meissen painted an “AR” on the pieces, in honor of the king. Shortly thereafter, the company began using the famous crossed swords mark, which is still in use today.

Markings are often located on the bottom of a piece, and usually include (depending on the age of the item) a pattern name, a product number, the year of its creation, company name, retailer, and/or brand name. To make life even more confusing for the identifier, sometimes a piece will have both the name of the factory which produced the piece, as well as another mark signifying the decorator.

There are clues to identifying the age of a piece right away, based on the emerging laws and standards of certain time periods. For example, if an English piece has the name of the pattern printed, it was created after 1810. If the word “Royal” appears, the piece was made after 1850. If you see the word (or associated abbreviations) “Limited,” the piece was created after 1861, while the words “Trade Mark” tell you the piece was created after the Act of 1862. Similarly, the letters “R N” signify a date of creation after 1883. If the words, “bone china” are included, the piece was made in the twentieth century (or later).

Lenox has made it fairly easy to identify the age of its china. The first pieces were stamped with “Ceramic Art Company” or “Lenox Belleek,” depending on the style. In 1906, the stamp was changed to a green wreath surrounding the letter “L,” with the name Lenox below it. (Nevertheless, even if the company name is missing, it is still authentic if it has the wreath logo.) In 1930, the phrase “Made in U.S.A.” was included. This stamp remained the standard backstamp until 1953, when the wreath’s color was changed to gold.

Another way of identifying Lenox china is by the date code. If there is not a pattern name, look for a series of letters and numbers either on the bottom or on the rim of a piece. The first set of numbers before the slash describes the piece’s shape. Next, you will find a letter and a number (and sometimes, a second letter), which makes up the date code. If you find a date code but no pattern name, the piece was likely created before 1950—the year when Lenox quit using the date code system. After the date code, you should see a string of letters which correspond to a piece’s pattern colors.

With this gathered information, you can look up the maker, pattern, year, and/or value of your piece on the Lenox website, in an encyclopedia of china marks, through a replacement company, or by taking the piece to an appraiser or antique shop.

The Next-Day Challenge: Purple Mountain Lion Hat

Yesterday, my friend Anne, emailed me, asking if I could create an "emergency hat". Her coworker's birthday was the following day (that would make it today, for those uncaffeinated readers out there). Would I be able to pump out a hat in time? Or would I fail, thereby ruining my friend's coworker's birthday forever? (What? It's my blog...if I want to have an inflated sense of my own importance in the world, that is my prerogative.)

Sounded easy enough, but this was no ordinary hat. Anne had recently read my post about the Frogger hat and wondered if I could make a similar hat, but with a mountain lion. A purple mountain lion, at that. Her coworker had attended Kansas State University, for which the mascot is this:


Okay, so the KSU mascot is actually a wildcat and not a mountain lion. But you know what you get when you google "wildcat"? A whole bunch of cute, little domestic kittehs. No, no. We were going with brawn.


I got started on the hat later that night, while watching documentaries about the Donner Party and the Dust Bowl of the '30s. By the by, have you ever gone to PBS.org? There are lots of interesting videos online, which you can watch for free.

Anyhow, while I finished the major components of the hat, I was far from satisfied with the eyes, ears, and "snout". So, the next morning, I tore out yarn, re-did them, tore out more yarn, re-did them. After a bit of tweaking to make it look more realistic (yes, like a real purple mountain lion would look), I was satisfied with the final product (ignore the wacky lighting):


Doing a quick "would I wear this?" test, a pertinent part of the hat-making process:


It passed, so I delivered it to Anne. Within the hour, I heard back that the birthday girl loved the hat. Huzzah!

Happy birthday to Kristen! And thank you for being a good sport and letting me post your picture on this questionable blog:


(And thank you to Anne, for giving me something interesting to blog about, since I've been so boring this week. Well, unless readers want to hear about the riveting Plants vs. Zombies tournament going on at home. Neither do I.)

Toilets, Gizmo, Fly-Glue, and Auto-Tune: Why, This Must be a Mish-Mash!

I really love decals. I wish I had the money and permanent space to buy a bunch. This is my current favorite at the Etsy shop, Flush Please:


I love these ones too, but unfortunately, it seems the seller has since closed her (I don't know why I assume everyone on Etsy is a girl) shop:



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While visiting my sister once, she remarked that Kayden looked like Gizmo from the movie, Gremlins. "He looks like a little Gizmo doll with his big brown eyes!" Kayden pretended to be offended (and still does, since I occasional call out, "Mogwai!" when he's around), but I think secretly he likes it. Because, let's face it: Gizmo is pretty damn cute.



Except for those shudderingly creepy fingernails.
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Keene found an article at Tasteless Photography about urban explorers who rappelled down into a bell-mouth spillway. Meep! As it turns out, it is as scary as I imagined. Check out the link for even more pictures.



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Looking for something to pass the time at work?

Tone Matrix
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Awhile back, Keene and I had this conversation as he walked through the front door:

Kelli: Something happened with Maia.

Keene: (joking) Did she poop in her pants?

Kelli: No.

Keene: Did she go crazy and attack Kayden?

Kelli: No, it's worse.

Keene: (starts walking towards Maia's room, getting worried) Is she okay?

Kelli: No. She's...she's listening to autotuned pop music. On the radio.

Keene: (pauses) How did she find it?

Kelli: (despairing) I don't know!

Keene: Did you say anything to her yet?

Kelli: No, I thought you should talk to her yourself. I was about to text you to break it to you gently, but then you came home. I...I didn't want you to find out this way.
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Speaking of auto-tune, here are a couple older videos which deserve to be refreshed in your mind. The first is one of the OGs of my girl-crushes: the red-headed, Irish dancing chick.



This one is just supa-impressive. I don't think I could spell a whole word on my stumpy fingers, let alone remember which word was written where.



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And finally, another blast-from-the-past conversation (which Keene probably doesn't even remember anymore).

I showed him this link: Work Well Together


Keene: Have you ever tried it before.

Kelli: Only with kids...but they didn't fly.

Keene: (jokingly) You worked in daycare?

Kelli: No, tour guide for the Grand Canyon.

Keene: You have a disturbing sense of humor.

Things I Learned About While I Should Have Been Working

Bell-Mouth Spillways:


I don't know why this hole should be scary to me, but it is. It's like a watery, man-made sinkhole. And sinkholes are down right weird. I imagine ducks get sucked down there all the time. Maybe it even pulls small airplanes and kites from the air into its vortex. Or, when the water level is low and the spillway is dry, I had a vision of me being curious and climbing down into it, only to have the dam suddenly fill with water.

No good can come from this.

(Lots of spillway pictures can be found at the link above. Or if you want to see even more big, awesome holes, click here.)

(I don't know how else to say that so it won't sound like I'm sending you to a porn site. I promise I'm not.)


Yemen:

After much deliberation and research, I have determined that Yemen is the coolest coolest-looking place on Earth. (While searching for images, I came across a whole lot of guns. Since guns wouldn't exist in the coolest place on Earth, I am amending that statement.)

Source: Yemen - Sanaa, yemenshipping.com


Source: TheContaminated.com

Sailing Stones:


Holy crap! Moving rocks! Rocks that move of their own accord!

It is most likely due to the intense, focused wind which occurs in Death Valley. The fact that this happens there doesn't surprise me. There is something sinister about Death Valley. I'd give it the stink-eye, if I could see it from here. Because we will be driving near Death Valley in less than a week, I am trying to manipulate our route so we can cut through Racetrack Playa.


Jonestown:


Man, that Jim Jones was messed up. Horribly. Because my brain likes to torture itself, I listened to his last "sermon," in which he explains to his cult why they would be killing themselves shortly. Even as a brave woman tries to argue with reason, he shuts her down, further creating a sort of hysteria among the masses. It's extremely sad, as you listen to the cries dying down toward the end. This is one of those things that remind you just how extremely twisted some people can be. I don't recommend listening, unless you are too happy and in need of a serious downer.

(On a side note, I also don't recommend you listen to the Russian exorcism recording which is on the same site. Because it makes your toes really cold. And nobody likes cold toes.)

(On another side note, don't Google Jonestown images. In trying to find a picture for this post, all I could find were pictures of dead bodies. Eek! Thank you to Jonestown.sdsu.edu for having a non-violent picture for me to use.)

Oakville, Washington's Rain Blobs


In August of 1994, it began raining in Oakville. Except that instead of raindrops, it rained blobs. Oh, and these blobs made people and animals sick. Oh, and the blobs also had human white freakin' blood cells and bacteria in them.

Anyone else ready to eat some Jello?

Presidential Lenox China Patterns

Um, huh? Why am I talking about china patterns, for hell's sake? Because I'm multi-faceted, people. Get used to it. Yesterday it was blender blood and Asian girls, today it is fine tableware.

(Also, it is because I just finished this article and don't really have time to write a blog post.)

So, because I'm nice and because reading about china is boring, I'm giving you two options.

One: you can click on the Lenox China link to read the short version. This is the assignment that mandated a 500-word limit.

Two: you can click "Read the long, but exciting version!" link at the bottom. This is the version that I originally wrote and which far exceeded the limit. But it has lots of fun facts, some pictures, and even a passive-aggressive jab at George Bush. Hurray!

(Or, hidden option three: you can curse me, close the blog, and delete it from your Favorites menu. Please don't do that one.)

Lenox China

Read the long, but exciting version!

Presidential china has a long and colorful history, dating back to the first president. While George Washington imported china from, well, China, many of the subsequent presidents selected services from England and France. Despite congressional laws mandating that all furniture be produced in America, early domestic china was deemed subpar. Because of this, Theodore Roosevelt once lambasted, “We are dependent upon foreign factories for the very dishes from which the Chief Executive of the United States must eat.”

This changed in 1918 during Woodrow Wilson’s term, when the First Lady selected a set of Lenox china designed by Frank Holmes, thereby making it the first American china to be used in the White House. It had a dark ivory border surrounding a brighter ivory center, matte gold bands, and encrusted stars and stripes. The set of 1,700 pieces, bearing the presidential seal in raised gold, cost $16,000. The First Lady was so appreciative of the fine craftsmanship, she reportedly brought chocolates to the workers at the Trenton Lenox factory.


When Franklin D. Roosevelt took over the presidency, the country was facing hard economic times; as such, the dwindling china was not replaced until well into his term (and only then, because of the First Lady’s claim that the production of china would keep some American workers employed). They chose a Lenox design which consisted of a border of forty-eight stars, as well as the presidential seal against an ivory background. The 1,722-piece set bore personal touches, such as a marine blue color scheme (based on his nautical interests) and a scrolling adaptation of the Roosevelt family crest. The latter caused an outcry among citizens, due to its foreign nature. This set debuted at an important state dinner in 1935, in which all guests ate from a single service—a first in American history.


Due to the increasing price and quality of china, it was not necessary for each incoming president to pick a new service. It wasn’t until 1952, during Harry S. Truman’s term that the next service was picked out, reflecting the White House’s recent renovations. Truman ordered a 1,572-piece service by Lenox, a celadon green scheme with gold rims against an ivory background. Upon the plate was a raised presidential seal surrounded by forty-eight gold stars. The seal was a new, post-World War II, standardized version in which the eagle faced toward the olive branch. This gesture symbolized America’s renewed goal of peace. The set was debuted at a luncheon held for the Dutch royal family.


In 1982, the walls of the State Dining Room had again been painted, this time in a stark white. Wanting a design that displayed a “strong presence” for the increasingly large state dinners, Ronald Reagan opted for a Lenox set with scarlet bands of varying widths, both framed and overlaid with gold cross-hatching (a process which required extensive handling and nine separate kiln firings). The service consisted of 4,370 pieces—enough to accommodate 220 people—nearly twice as many settings as any other past service.


A new china service was created in 2000 to celebrate the bicentennial of the White House. Bill Clinton chose a Lenox service with a creamy yellow border, centered with images of White House facades. Furthermore, “each piece in place setting is decorated with a different pattern, with motifs derived from outstanding architectural elements found in the State Dining Room, East Room and Diplomatic Reception Room” (Lenox). Shifting away from tradition, this service did not feature a presidential seal. The 3,600-piece set was first used at a dinner, in which the Presidents Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter, and George H.W. Bush, as well as their respective wives, were in attendance.


Finally, just two weeks before his term ended in 2009, George W. Bush unveiled a new Lenox china service. The set featured a green basket weave border, based on a French dinner service believed to have been owned by James Madison. Though the 4,480-piece service was purchased with funds provided by the White House Historical Association Acquisition Trust (a private organization), the exorbitant price (approximately $493,000) spent during the beginning stages of a recession angered many struggling Americans.


In addition to the customized china created for six presidents, Lenox tableware is also used at the vice-president’s official residence, at hundreds of U.S. embassies, and at over half of all governors’ mansions across America. Being the forerunner of fine American-made china, Lenox collectibles are often given as gifts to dignitaries of the Congress and the Department of State, as well as to welcome incoming presidents.

Doc Holliday and the Two-Headed Fish: A Visit to Glenwood Springs

On Saturday, we packed our gear into the car and headed towards Glenwood Springs, a mountain town three hours away, where we would camp for the night with Kayden's fellow Cub Scouts.



One of the greatest things about Colorado is that the journey is just as beautiful as the destination.




We arrived in Glenwood Springs just before 11:00 a.m., with me on the verge of death since the air conditioner in Keene's car doesn't work.

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Our first stop was to the...


Where we met up with the other families for a guided tour.

A ranger explained the process of gathering fish eggs, putting them in baskets with shock absorbers, where they cook into real fish. (I may have not been fully paying attention.)


First they look like tapioca:


Then they turn into enormous, bug-eyed sperm:


Then they sometimes accidentally turn into a two-headed fish:


But usually not:




...and finally, they end up as my two-headed dinner:


After the tour, we got to go outside and feed the big fish.

This:


+ this:


= this:




Next stop was Two Rivers Park for lunch and rock-skipping at the Colorado River:


I didn't see the second river of "Two Rivers," so I Googled it and discovered there is supposedly (I say this with suspicion) another river nearby that we missed called Roaring Fork River. I wish I could have seen that. Is it like an army of roaring forks, or just one big fork?

At this park, there is a memorial to commemorate fourteen firefighters who died while fighting fire on Storm King Mountain in 1994.


...And a chipmunk that eats potato chips.


After lunch, we headed to Glenwood Springs Cemetery.

(Look! A lizard!)


(Ooh! Rocks!)

We hiked to the top (good thing this cemetery is now defunct...I can't imagine a funeral procession successfully climbing this path), we found the grave of John Henry Holliday, better known as Doc Holliday, the cowboy/dentist pal of Wyatt Earp. Just after moving to Glenwood Springs, Holliday croaked of his long-standing tuberculosis.


To honor his gambling nature, someone left playing cards. Supposedly, when he realized he would soon die, in his bed and not in a saloon, he spoke his last words: "I'll be damned. This is funny."


When I saw this gravestone, I didn't know who it was, but with a name like Kid Curry, I figured he/she had to be special. And he was! Sort of. You know Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid? Well, he wasn't that kid. But he was in their gang. From VisitGlenwood.com, "Harvey Logan, alias 'Kid Curry' was also buried in Linwood after committing suicide following a train robbery in 1904 near Parachute."


I like this plot because it takes the guesswork out of where to step. I really don't like the idea of stepping over dead bodies.



"Funk is my middle name."




After traipsing around the fairly well-maintained and occasional ornate headstones, we headed farther up the mountain to the Potter's Field. I'm fascinated by the idea of a final resting place for all of the "unwanted" or uncared for people of the world.




While Doc Holliday's gravestone is in the main portion of the cemetery, he was actually buried in an unmarked grave in Potter's Field.



Finally (finally!), we went to the campsite, where we set up the tent and explored the area.





Keene watched hummingbirds:



While Kayden got stung on the neck. Yowch. That is no way to have a good time.


After dinner, volleyball, and general merriment, it was time to sleep on the cold, hard, bug-infested ground.


Bright and early, we packed it back up and headed home to Denver.

But not before stopping for our Starbucks fix. You can take the Starbucks out of the camper (or wait long enough and it will take itself out), but you can't take the camper out of Starbucks.


I often say Kayden is exactly like me. This is one of those times. Here we are: same tired eyes, same irritated expression directed at Keene who kept snapping our picture before we had even fully awakened.