April 30, 2008

Cute hippie from train invited me out for coffee

He asked me to bring some of my "most poignant writing". Ummm...I don't think so. I'm intensely shy about my writing (will always write under a pseudonym) and would definitely not share it with a guy I would potentially date.

I think I need to stop telling people that I write...they almost ask to read some of it...which I don't want. I'm just really shy about it...don't know why. Wait, that's not true. I worry that it sucks or that people will think less of me after reading it.

I'm like George McFly.

George: Oh, no, no, no. I never, I never let anybody read my stories.
Marty: Why not?
George: Well, what if the didn't like them? What if they told me I was no good? I guess that might be hard for somebody to understand.

I got a nice thank-you.

SeniorAdmin said she's going through a rough patch right now and has been in a bad mood, but my consistently happy-goofy moods and funny jokes and stories have cheered her up and made the day a little better.

This came after I did a samba-esque conga-line dance past her desk. There is no video, but lots of dancing around and kicking up of the heels. And I'm wearing a body-hugging dress and heels with wild hair, so the effect was fantastic if I don't say so myself.

It was really sweet of her.


Monday night, at the grocery store, Kayden proclaimed, "Can we get dinner now? I'm vamished." I replied, "Oh, you're hungry." "No, I'm VAMISHED!" (Obviously, he meant "famished".)

Last night, we were reading at bedtime. The story's narrator is a cowdog, so he says a lot of things like "derned" and "figgered" or other words that could sound like cussing. At one point, Kayden said, "This book has a lot of profanity words." I replied, "It has bad words in it?" He said, "No, it has a lot of profanity words."

::snort:: Dude is developing quite the vocabulary.

Sometimes I love my job.

A couple admins went to a trade show and brought me back a whole bunch of goodies: flowered lei, a cookies, candy, etc.

One thing is a squeeze-stress-toy thing and it's a guy all knotted up around himself. I took it and said, "That looks kind of dirty!"

The girl replied, "That's why I got it for you!"

Choices, choices....

I have the night free. Here are my options as I see them:

1. Wait until 2:30 a.m. when ______ gets off work. Likely won't get as much sleep, but will have a hell of a good time. And will get to see and spend time with ______ who I like A LOT and who I haven't seen since Saturday night.

2. Hang out with Daniel, who is incredibly hot, but can be terribly moody and not as much fun to be around. The plus side of this is that I would probably get a full night's sleep.

Hidden option #3 is the cute hippie from the train. He asked if I was free tonight for coffee. Hmm...

My outfit

You can't see, but I'm wearing a knee-length pencil skirt with black heels.

I look like the evil twin sister to this Kelli:

Daniel stopped by the office

Within a minute, several admins walked past my desk or stopped to talk to me about random shit.

Crazy Coworker, once again, got all flustered and kept walking up to my desk, going back to hers, walking back...

April 29, 2008

The lender is punishing me.

1. I can't benefit from refinancing my home, because my credit was good enough to score a good initial rate.

2. I was just told that because I've never been late on payments and I'm current on my account, I won't benefit from the lender's assistance programs. He said those programs are designed to help people get out of foreclosure. He actually suggested (if you can believe this, which I can't) that I just skip a few payments--yes, it would affect my credit and I would receive late fees--and THEN I could qualify for those assistance programs!!

I said, "So, basically even though I've been a good customer for four years, have never missed or been late on a payment, you guys can't help me unless I purposely mess up my loan?"

He replied, "Well, we would prefer you continue making your payments, but the only way we can help you is if you let your loan go into foreclosure."

3. Because I earn just enough money, I don't qualify for the program that would allow me to skip a couple payments and have them basically prorated over the duration of my loan.

I feel like I'm being punished for 1) having a good credit rating, 2) being on time and current on my payments, and 3) making a decent salary.

Oh, Telemarketer

Now, I understand that many telemarketers are not living in America and do not speak English primarily. But it doesn't mean I can't laugh when they say something completely off.

Kelli: Good afternoon... Company Name

Telemarker: Good afternoon. May I speak with So-and-So or him servant please?

Kelli: ::covers phone and proceeds to gigglesnort::

FYI: I now refer to So-and-So's assistant as "Him Servant." It cracks her up.

April 28, 2008

Rebuilding Together - Volunteering

My friends and coworkers and I did a charity thing called Rebuilding Together. Basically we tore apart the home of a needy family and rebuilt it.

These are some Before pictures:

(I'm in the orange jacket)

Kort liked the painter:

Nom nom nom:

Miss Thang:

Winding down:

The family received all new appliances, flooring, carpet, etc. All for free, through this awesome program.

The sort-of After pictures:

My weekend and the stupid thing I did.

Friday daytime: I took the day off work to run some errands, etc. I got my brazilian (which didn't hurt NEARLY as much as the first time), went to the doctor (have a UTI and kidney infection...plus I had to get some blood work done so they can check my platelet count and test for anemia). The golf thing with ______ fell through because his mom came into town. I was disappointed, but went golfing anyways and had a good time.

Friday: get ready for it............

I didn't go out. Well, I went downtown for some Starbucks and a bit of a walk. Then I took the train to Kort's house. I met a cute hippie named Peter and we discussed Maoism, activism, school, etc. I helped Kort and Ben with their cleaning, then Ben drove me back to my car and I went home and went to bed. Just like that. I was in bed by, like, 11 p.m. Strange, huh?

Saturday: had to get up bright and early (6:30) to get the food to the volunteer event. Spent 13 hours total there. ::exhausted sigh::

Saturday night: went out with Kort. We were both so wiped out and Falling Rock was insanely busy and we just weren't feeling it, so we left. I took Kort home, ______ called, so I went over there. This may warrant a new post.....but I *really* like this guy. This isn't good because in the past he's shown that he's really selfish and set in his ways and somewhat emotionally unavailable. But that night, he was so sweet. We watched a movie, cuddled, goofed around (monkey-toe pinching wars are the best), etc. ::sigh:: Not good at all.

Sunday: left ________'s house, picked up Kayden, relaxed at home for a bit, then we went to the museum with Kort.

Kortney-saurus. Rarr!

Then we all went out for ice cream at a little Greek dive. On the drive home, Kayden passed out, woke up just long enough to drag himself onto the couch and fell back asleep. He had spent the night at his grandparents' house along with all his cousins. Apparently, no one got much sleep.

So, Scott picked him up after work. I went and met up with Daniel (who had been out of town for a week). We went downtown. Without even thinking, we went to Falling Rock. I knew neither _______ nor any of his buddies work on Sundays so I just figured it would be okay. No. As soon as I walked in with Daniel in tow, I saw ________ sitting at the bar. I quickly wheeled around and went to a different bar. But I'm pretty sure he saw me with Daniel. He knows I'm kind of dating around, but it was really shitty and thoughtless of me to bring a dude there to his bar.

Anyhow, we had a blast playing pool and shuffleboard at the other bar, but I was still kind of worrying about _________. He called me around midnight (which sounds bad, but we do that all the time).......but, um, I didn't answer since I was preoccupied at Daniel's house at the time. This is probably a clear sign to _______ that I am dating the dude he saw me with. Now, I don't lie or anything...but I didn't want to broadcast that fact to him that I'm seeing another dude. I'm definitely going to be running damage control as soon as possible. But I'm really worried about how this will pan out.

I've determined that I'm "date-tarded"...I just can't seem to get the hang of it.

Daniel came by my office

and rang the desk bell. Crazy Coworker (who is 50 years old) answered the bell and came to find me. When I saw her, she was all twitterpated and gasped, "He's gorgeous!" I agreed and she went on about his skin coloring and his hair and his teeth. It was really cute. She asked what color his eyes were and she said, "I didn't see them...I was blinded by his smile. Did he wear braces?"

Easy there, tiger!

Cute Hippie From Train emailed me.

Hi Kelli,
I really enjoyed talking to you on the light rail the other night. I only regret the ride wasn't longer. Your crochet work is really nice, from what I've seen on your website. You weren't kidding about crocheting! That's a great skill to have, and an underrated one. I would be interested to see some of your writing too.

Not a single misspelled word. Verrrrrrrrry impressive.

April 24, 2008

Golfing with ________, Unniversary, and Weirdness

1. ________ and I actually have plans to go golfing tomorrow. This will be the first time we go out and do anything together...away from his house and away from the bar. I'm a little nervous, because I'm not a very good golfer, but he plays in tournaments. I know he won't judge me or anything...I'd just like to impress the guy.

2. Kort and I decided for our upcoming anniversaries, we're going out on the Friday that falls between them. This will be our new "unniversary" and we will dress slutty and go out dancing to commemorate this special day. It certainly beats sitting at home and contemplating why our respective marriages failed.

3. I'm kind of confused about something because I don't know why I'm feeling a certain way. Last night while walking along 16th with Kort and Sean (a cute guy who Kort might start seeing), we met up with a guy named Cowan. I walked along and chatted with Cowan for a while, with our friends trailing us. He was fun and all and we were goofing off (dancing and whatnot). After a bit, though, he started getting kind of weird. He seemed to get really annoyed and somewhat scared by the presence of Sean (who is a pretty buff guy). He kept trying to get me to ditch them. That alone isn't weird.

But at one point, he grabbed my arm to stop me from leaving and at another time, backed me up against a rail so I couldn't really get away. I wasn't worried about my safety until he grabbed me...that's when I decided to get out of there. However, if it ever came down to physically protecting, I'm fairly confident in myself. Even if I lost a fight, the dude would be worse for the wear. I'm a scrapper, you know.

He kept bugging me for personal information like where I worked (I wouldn't tell him anything). It was about this time that I really wanted to ditch them. So as not to make things really weird, I told him, "Let's exchange numbers and meet up in the future," and then basically told him to go his own way and we'll go ours. As soon as Kort, Sean, and I walked away, he called me. He started really hassling me that he "needs a commitment" from me and I absolutely need to call him tomorrow and so on. Over the next hour, he called five times, which I didn't answer.

So, here's the thing, why am I so weirded out by this? This is not the first time nor even the worst instance of a guy getting really creepy on me. But for some reason, it just really, really bothered me. Even though Kort and I are very self-sufficient and always take care of each other, I have to say I was VERY glad Sean was around. I think things could have gotten bad if he weren't.

When did I lose touch with my generation?

Sometimes I really have no fucking clue what people my age are talking about. I've had to ask Kort to decipher text messages and slang for me. ("This guy says he's twisted over me...what does that even mean?!")

I was told last night that I dance "liquid". ??? I'm damn near clueless about the little quirks of being a 20-something (like the "rules of dating", bar speak and decorum, etc.. Not to mention that I don't know who half the performers/bands/rappers are today.

It doesn't necessarily bother me...I just feel out of place...kind of old sometimes.

The cats are getting along swimmingly!!!

Oh wait...no, they're not.

April 23, 2008

Snarkiness with Daniel

He mentioned he's flying back on Saturday. This was the texted conversation.

Kelli: too bad you're not coming back on Friday...I'm taking the day off.

Daniel: why is that too bad?

Kelli: if you have to ask, then maybe it's not too bad.

Boys are dumb. Girls are bitches. That is all. ::rolly eyes::

April 22, 2008

I like today's Google image.

I"m trying to be civil.

I sent Josh an email of items I've taken care of, as well as things he needs to take care of (such as removing his name from the electricity account). Among other things was this:

Kelli: What do you want to do about the stuff you still have in storage or at home? The bed, dresser, boxes, bookshelf, etc? I know you said that you don’t want this stuff anymore, but I don’t think it’s fair for me to have to figure out a way to get rid of it and do the moving of it and all. I can store the stuff as long as the house is still on the market, but if/when it sells, we’ll have to figure out how to get your stuff to you.

(Please keep in mind this is all stuff he owned long before he met me.)

Josh: It's your crap now. Unfair to dump it on you? Perhaps.
Petty and immature? Probably. I really don't care. It takes 2 minutes to call ARC to haul it away.


Honestly, I have a hard time believing I come from this family.

So, my mom called me on Saturday and I talked with her for a while. I explained about getting divorced and about entering the dating world for the first time and whatnot.

Mother of Kelli: ::giddy, giggly voice:: So tell me about the guys you're dating!

Kelli: well, one is from Louisiana...

MOK: ::completely serious tone:: Kelli, PLEASE tell me he's not black.

Kelli: what would it matter if he were?

MOK: well, it only matters if you're happy...but please tell me he's not black.

Kelli: he's not black.

MOK: good.

She then proceeded to talk about how great my future stepdad and how he's Japanese** and she has to eat rice and veggies all the time. I made the mistake of mentioning in passing that I'm dating a guy who is half-Japanese. She immediately said in a dirty, conspiratorial voice, "Aren't those Japanese men just...great?" I knew what she was implying but decided to play dumb so as not to go there with her. "Um, yeah...they're great."

I'm pretty sure she was drunk.

**On a side note, I don't know if he is actually Japanese. My sister said he's Samoan or Polynesian or something. Apparently, my mom gets drunk and calls him a n****r...saying he's closer to it than she is. Wow.

April 21, 2008

Cats and Bar-Hops

There was all kinds of confusion about the plans for the night. Kort was going to Idaho Springs, but then was going to have Zoe spend the night, but Zoe made other plans, and Daniel and I were supposed to hang out but then he had dinner plans with friends and so on and so on.

Because of all this, Kort and I found ourselves together again. It had been about a week since we last saw each other, so we had lots of catching up to do. We hung out with our bartenders. After a couple hours, I went to see Daniel for a bit since he was leaving for New Orleans the next morning. When I arrived, a few of his friends were there (including my coworker). I felt a little awkward and out of place and really wanted to be back at Falling Rock, so I left after an hour...which upset Daniel. Meh.

So, back at Falling Rock, Krystle showed up with her friends and we all had a great time being dumbasses.

In case this wasn't obvious, this is a picture of God (labeled Elohim, per the Mormon code) on Kort's arm, saying, "OMG! LOL!" right next to the caption, "Hey! Ink poisons!"

Hours later, sober and heading home, I got near-simultaneous calls from Daniel and _______. Surprisingly (even to myself), I chose Daniel. I went over there.........to find his friends still there. Keep in mind, it was probably 3 a.m. by this time. So, I hung out for a while, kind of waiting for his friends to leave:

He was just drunk enough to let me take a whole buch of photos of him:

So, I ended up staying the night there and getting back home at 7:00 a.m. Kayden came home and we chilled around the house for a while. We finally pulled it together and got ready for the b-day party of Kayden's cousin. It was really fun to hang out with Kayden/Scott's family for a few hours. I love them to death, they love me, all is well.

Kayden and I just chilled and did our own thing for the rest of Saturday. On Sunday, we woke bright and early and went to the animal shelter where we adopted a cat. We brought it home, set it up in Kayden's room, then chilled some more. Scott came by to pick Kayden up again, I went downtown again (are you sensing a pattern to the weekends?).

I met Kort for dinner, then we went to Falling Rock. Again. Hung out with our bartenders. Again. Ran into Ronny, the kid I had a handstand contest with a couple weeks ago. Got a random call from Kenny, the guy I met at the Flobots concert last month. Texted a bit with Cutie-Pie Roger, who I hadn't talked to in a while. Found out Croman was in town again and wanted to hang out. Got a call from _______ and blew off Croman. Went to _________'s house and had a lot of fun hangingout. Like, laughing, making jokes, being silly, just having fun. We cuddled and slept and woke up this morning and cuddled again and I went to work.

I think I'm done with new guys.

I'm finding myself becoming bored with many guys I've been meeting, chatting with, dating... I've already backed away from Bowers and Croman (especially after blowing him off hardcore last night) and Kelly and some others.

Maybe this isn't a good thing to be thinking while I'm still technically married...but I really enjoy being with just _______ and Daniel (and possibly Cutie-Pie Roger...although that's still early). I don't really need or want other dudes around.

Wow...that makes me practically monogamous. ;)

Open mouth, insert foot.

Kelli: Hey, how was your trip?

Courier Boyfriend: Eh, it was okay.

Kelli: Okay? No, that won't work. Say, 'It was awesome!'

Courier Boyfriend: I was there for a funeral.

Kelli: Oh shit...sorry.

One thing I love about Denver

This is totally nerdy, but one thing I love is knowing so many people throughout the city and running into them or seeing them wherever I go.

For example, Kort and I have a friend, Jesse the Pedi-Cabber. He's totally cute and whenever we see him, we stop and chat and he sometimes gives us a ride in his cab. Also, Dean the Mountain Man gives me free candy and stuff. We routinely run into people we met randomly on the streets, such as Ronny in Kort's building (we met him before she ever moved into the building) and so on. I saw John the Hippie Guy riding his bike while with Rachel. I saw Jeff the Douchebag Fireman in his firetruck this morning while walking to the office.

I just love this kind of stuff. For being a big city, I sure know a lot of people around town.

April 18, 2008

Typical conversation with Kayden

While driving, an old man walked across the street where I was about to turn. I saw him ahead of time, slowed, stopped, and waited for him to pass...

Kayden: I'm really glad you didn't hit that old man.

Kelli: Um, me too.

Kayden: I don't like when old people get hurt.

Kelli: Yeah, that's no good.

Kayden: As you get older, you get weaker. And I think it's sad when weak people get hurt because they can't defend themselves.

Kelli: Oh, okay.

Kayden: Yeah, so I'm really glad you didn't hit that old man. I would have felt really bad.


I think a coworker has a crush on me.

She (yes, she) always stops by my desk, stands kind of close, talks to me a lot, touches my shoulder or arm, stares at me a lot, etc. Maybe that's just who she is, but I'm kind of hoping I'm someone's girl crush.

I'm noticing a strange phenomenon

in the world of dating.

Guys seem to be more like the stereotypical girls of the relationship. If this were an isolated incident, I would say it's just the guy. But for the most part, I'm sensing this is across the board. Here's what I have discovered in my four months of dating, talking to, sleeping with, or making out with guys:

- They want a relationship. Like a serious relationship.
- They get jealous.
- They like to talk. A lot. About themselves and their emotions.
- They like to do romantic stuff.
- They say things like, "Why are you so closed off?" or "Why aren't you more open?"
- They do intimate things like kissing foreheads or smelling hair or something.

Now, these are all things that are/used to be attributed to women, right? Maybe it's that this newest generation has so many boys who were raised by single mothers?

Whatever the reason, it's a little bizarre.

April 15, 2008

I love karmic retribution.

A cw who has the day off today just came in to let everyone meet her son. And she brought me a chai frappuccino for giving her a ride last night. Yummy!

And the accountant gave me some more girl scout cookies because I shared my pistachios with her.

More antics from Annoying Admin

She asked me to show her how to set up the projector. I humored her even though it's SO simple (two cords - one is a power cord, one plugs into the laptop). I honestly can't believe that someone is this ignorant. I think it has to be laziness or something. First, I had her plug the cord into the laptop. Then she picked up the power cord and I told her to plug it in. She picked up the laptop and looked for where the projector power cord might fit into it. Then, she asked if she should plug in the power cord. Um, yes. Then, she looks to me for guidance. I instruct her to press the power button to turn it on. Then, she beckons towards the cupboard doors that cover the projector screen and asks if she should open those. Um, yes. YOu'll want to be able to SEE the screen in order to, you know, project onto it.

I don't think "Annoying" covers this anymore.

April 14, 2008

Internet people are FAH-REAKS!

Kort got me on Yahoo Chat and it's fun to go there after Kayden is in bed and I'm bored. I've actually met a couple really cool people (not in person...though that's a future possibility). Last week, I got into a HILARIOUS conversation with a guy named Jeff. We talked for a couple hours and it was really fun. On Friday, we actually talked on the phone for a bit before dinner. On our way out on Saturday night, Kort and I decided to swing over by his bar and meet him for a drink.

He was nice and kind of cute and kind of funny and whatnot, so we invited him to come dancing with us. It was fun and we ended up hanging out most of the night. However, once we stopped dancing and started walking around and talking, I realized that he has ISSUES. He talked the entire time...never really asked me about myself or anything. And it wasn't fun talk. It was either about computers and programs (because I work with computers, guys assume I like to *talk* about computers) or about how "messed up" his family is. He just complained nonstop. He talked about some major issues he's dealt with in the past and how insecure he is and blahblahblah.

I feel like I couldn't get away fast enough. Now I'm trying to subtly remove myself from this situation (i.e. talking to him on chat less and less, avoiding his constant invitations to dinner, etc).

While I was online last night, he bugged me again about meeting him... "When are you free for dinner? Did I make an ass out of myself? Am I being too pushy? When are you free for dinner?"

At one point he asked what I was looking for as far as a relationship. I told him I absolutely don't want a relationship and my last one gave me indigestion.

I feel like I've had a lot of shit to deal with in my life (and still do), but I just can't sit and complain about everything. I deal with it and don't let it affect me. This guy? No, his baggage seems to rule his life and personality.

Dating the friend of a coworker?

Soooooo...who wants to hear about another dude? Yeah, I figured as much...but I'm still going to post.

On Friday night, Kort and I were heading downtown when I got a call from Celeste. This is one of my coworkers who I like a lot and she's also the mother of Kayden's best friend. We've hung out in the past, just the two of us, but it had been a long time. So, she called, said she was out with her friends and did we want to meet up. We met up with them. Her friends are John and Daniel. So, we all hang out and play pool together and everyone's having a great time.

Then we leave Falling Rock and go to a dance club. On the floor, I end up dancing with Daniel A LOT. And it's not "just-friends" type of dancing. After the club closes, we all leave together and head to Kort's house. Along the way, Daniel is super-flirty, holding my hand to warm it up, playfully pushing me, that kind of stuff.

After we hang out at Kort's for a bit, we head back to LoDo. Along the way, Daniel asks when he can see me again. We talk about it a bit, but I'm feeling kind of uncomfortable about doing this in front of a cw...no matter how cool she is. Also, it's a little weird because she knew Josh pretty well too (not like they're friends or anything, though).

So, um, when we got to our cars, Daniel asked again when he could see me and I'm not really sure what I said, but it was along the lines of "we'll figure it out..." and I got out of the car. I figured he could get my number from Celeste. The next day, I texted Celeste about something kind of random. She wrote back and said that "the guys loved you." That's a good sign, but I'm kind of worried that I played it badly with Daniel, because I felt so awkward about flirting and hitting on him in front of cw.

Anyhow, this was a whole lot of jibberish with not much of a point. Celeste is at work today and I really want to bounce into her office and scream, "WHAT DID DANIEL THINK OF ME?!?!? WHEN WILL HE CALL?!?!" But, you know, I can be professional and I'll not bother her with this in the workplace.

Oh, and on an interesting note, during the night the subject of Kayden came up. Sometimes I feel awkward about bringing up that I have a kid and all that. However, I realized that not only does Daniel know I have a kid, but he's actually met and hung out with Kayden already. When Kayden spent the night at his friend's house last, Celeste, her husband, and Daniel took the boys "panning for gold." That was kind of bizarre to realize...that the dude I was flirting with has already hung out with my kid.

***Oh, and before I forget, Daniel is from New Orleans and has the hottest Southern twang EVER. As well as a fleur-de-lis tattoo on his neck.***


I just brought a note to her (she was on the phone):

"It's very important you call (name of company lawyer) as soon as possible at (lawyer's phone #)...urgent matter.

And would you mind giving me Daniel's phone number so I can give him a call?"

I'm so super-smooth.

Further update:

While chatting with Daniel, I found out that this was totally a set-up. Apparently, Celeste had been waxing poetic about me ever since he got into town two months ago. I feel so used. ;)

Even further update:

I have photos of him, although they don't do him justice. Hot.

April 11, 2008

I'm kind of mean to Annoying Admin.

Office Manager stopped in with her new baby. He was laying in the carrier, sleeping. AA stopped by and kind of edged up to the carrier to peek inside. She said, "Oh, I don't have any experience with babies...I don't know what they're like." I said, "Well, they do bite at first." She took a step back and said, "Really?" Office Manager said, "Yeah, but only at first." She said, "Are you serious?" We laughed and said no.

I also told her at another point that a baby's sweat glands produce the same extract that one would find in peanut oil. So really, if she's allergic to peanuts, she's probably allergic to that extract, as well.

I'm a genius before my time.

Okay, not really...

But I can be pretty smart at times. We've been having issues with a certain kind of bulb burning out too quickly (or just not working at all) throughout the office. I've been working with one of our building engineers to figure it out. The other day, I made a comment in passing that maybe we should look into lower wattage bulbs, because maybe the current bulbs are getting too heated.

Building Engineer just came by my desk and said he had thought about what I said and realized that makes a lot of sense, so he bought the low watt bulbs and installed them.

I totally schooled a veteran building engineer.

April 10, 2008

My night was full of awesome.

Soooooooo much awesome.

After leaving work, I met Kelly at Starbucks and we hung out and walked around.

He was totally loving these street performers:

We met up with Kort, got some dinner, chatted a little bit longer, then parted ways. Kort and I got on the bus, rode it into Boulder, and found ourselves in pouring rain. We walked to the theater, stood in line (in the rain) for about a half-hour:

Once inside, we found awesome seats (it was mostly seated...only people standing in the aisles). Instead of an opening band, they showed a BBC documentary about Hugh Everett, a brilliant physicist (and father of Mark Everett...creator of Eels). It basically walked through his life and the theory of parallel universes, which he created:

Coolest. Opening. Band. Ever. It was pretty funny and very well-done. It was especially cool to see hundreds of people under 30 completely entranced by a film about quantum physics.

So, after a brief intermission, Eels came out. Now, Eels is actually just Mark Everett. But over the years, he's had backup bands and whatnot. Well, that night, he only had The Chet. They each played every instrument on stage, always doing a duet. It was amazing. Some songs Everett would play the drums, Chet would play the piano. Or Everett would play the guitar and Chet would play the saw...yes, the saw. They are SO gifted. At one point during my favorite song, Chet was on drums, doing a solo. Everett stood up from the piano, walked over, and took over playing the drums...WITHOUT MISSING A SINGLE BEAT. It was incredible. After he sat down and kept playing, Chet went over to the piano and took up where Everett left off. I have videos of this happening...I'll post them later.

Also, they were HILARIOUS. They talked with the audience, Chet read from Everett's book (Everett said, "It would be totally pretentious for me to read from my own book at a concert.......so Chet will read from it!" LOL!).

::sigh:: I nearly cried at several points, because it was just all so great. The venue was really small and cozy.

Anyhow, after the show, Kort and I walked to the bus station (about a mile away), got on the bus, talked up a storm, and found ourselves back in Denver by 1 a.m. Because we were so hyper still, we went to.................

FALLING ROCK, of course!

_________ was working and hooked us up with drinks. When he was pouring mine, he said, "Kelli, how much have you had to drink tonight?" I replied, "Just one..." And so he dumped A LOT of rum into it.

After a while, a group of really skeevy dudes started really hitting on us. One gave Kort his hotel room number, one started pulling on the hood of my jacket, and so on. Luckily, the bar was closing and the dudes left. However, as Kort and I started to leave, _________ told us to just sit down for a few minutes. We were a little confused at first, but then he told us he didn't want us out there while those dudes were still there. We hadn't even thought of that and were very appreciative to ________ for looking out for us.

So, we left, I took Kort home, __________ called, I turned around, went back to his place, and well, you know.

I got home around 4:30, got up at 7:00. Am dragging a bit today as a result. But I wouldn't take back a single minute of any of it.

Head Honcho complimented me.

I am really bored, so I started kind of cleaning up random areas of the office. There's a pile of really old drawings just tossed around in the file room. I got a box and lined the drawings up in the box. As I was doing this, Head Honcho happened to walk by and said, "What's with all the rustling?" He poked his head in and said, "Ah, you're cleaning that up!" I replied, "As well as I can, anyways..." He replied, "No, you're taking a huge mess and making it look presentable. That's great!"

I love random recognition, no matter how small.

More absurdity

We had a caterer bring in lunch for the admins today and brought cookies for dessert. AA is allergic to peanuts and makes sure to remind us nearly every day. She selected a sugar cookie. She made sure to ask the caterer several times if it was indeed a sugar cookie.

So, while eating, the subject of peanut butter came up. AA reminded us that, being allergic to peanuts, she's never even tasted peanut butter.

Then, she freaked out after tasting her cookie. She passed the cookie to someone else and asked them to taste it and verify that it was indeed a sugar cookie. They did and said, "yes, it is indeed a sugar cookie." She kept freaking out, completely certain it was a peanut butter cookie.

So I asked the obvious question: "But you don't actually know what peanut butter tastes like, right?" That definitely stopped her in her tracks. Finally, she just said, "I just assumed that's what peanut butter tastes like. I guess we'll find out in about 20 minutes if it had peanuts in it..."


The first time I heard her talk in detail about her allergies and dislikes, I was politely interested and sympathetic. But by the 50th time, I got annoyed. And I *may* say such things in her presence like, "Maaaaaaaaan, if I'm going to die anyways, eating peanut butter might be the best way to do it...delicious!!" or "OMG! This pecan-covered chicken breast is absolutely amazing!"

April 9, 2008

"Those jeans don't do you justice."

Once again, I was walking around downtown on my lunch break. Once again, I was approached by a random guy. But this time, he handed me a piece of paper with his company name, his name, his phone number, and their going rate for models. He said, "Those jeans don't do you justice...come down to my store. We're looking for store models..." He gave me the name of his store, asked my first name, asked me to give him a call or stop at his store, and left.

My first thought was that he had insulted my ratty old cords I was wearing and was trying to make a buck by having me stop by there to shop.

My second thought was that this was a clever way of hitting on girls.

I came back to work and googled the store name (it's legit and has been mentioned in the local hipster paper). So, now my third thought is what if this is real. Um, that's a lot of money they're offering...

How bizarre.

Kelly the Hippie just stopped by.

He inquired about doing some kind of recycling/sustainability thing with my company, since we're known in the industry for being green. After we talked a little bit about that, he said it was mostly just an excuse to come see me.

I asked what he was doing tonight. He rattled off a list of things he might be doing: yoga, cooking for the homeless, etc. etc. etc. When I mentioned that I'll be downtown until 6:30 and maybe he could meet me for dinner or something, he said he would clear some time up.


Dammit...I just went to the bathroom to assess how I look right now. I look like I was up too late and slept in too late and didn't actually touch my hair and threw on whatever I could find in the dark. <~~~~~~Which is all true. I hate when I bump into someone when I look yucky.

To Keep or Sell the House?

So, I went to the website of my lender, just to see what I could find. They have a page for "getting assistance." Come to find out, they have a bunch of programs and stuff in place for people in my position who suddenly find they can't make their payments. I submitted an application for assistance, so we'll see how this goes. Even if I could get the next couple of months discounted, it would be better than nothing.

Lately, I've been having doubts about whether I want to get rid of my house at all. My biggest reasons for wanting to leave were that I *hated* it and that I couldn't afford it on my own. Well, with Josh gone now, it's a much happier place to be. I don't mind being at home at all. And if I could afford it due to refinancing or something, it might be worth the effort. Here is my pros/cons list, as I see it:

- I own a house, which is pretty cool
- I can do any kind of remodeling/refinishing/painting...that's also pretty cool
- No pet deposits to pay
- Close to Kayden's school
- I only have neighbors on the sides, not on top and bottom too.
- Well, we're already living there...no need to move
- Not wasting money by paying rent
- Has a backyard, albeit a little one

- I hate that Josh knows where I live...I would feel weird about bringing a guy back to my place.
- It's kind of a dumpy little place...not very nice
- Being a homeowner means fixing all the shit that goes wrong
- HOA fees
- No need to deal with a landlord

April 8, 2008

I met a male Kelli.

But not like, "Ooh, he's totally like the male version of myself!" No, his name is Kelly. He's supa-dupa sweet and totally adorable.

I'm not quite sure how it came to be that I was talking to him at Falling Rock, because ________ slipped me bourbon instead of the rum I had requested. But in any event, I ended up talking to him for HOURS. He's like a hippie do-gooder guy. He works for some kind of program that rebuilds bikes and gives them away (to homeless people or anyone who wants to help the environment and such). And he also lots of volunteer work for the homeless. His other job is gardening or something.

One thing I really liked about him is that he was open for anything. At one point, Kort and I and the people we were with wanted to go to a dance club...he was okay with it. Instead, he and I went to an Irish pub and danced a silly jig together on the dance floor. He's a lot of fun. Afterward, we walked around Denver until, like 3 a.m. just chatting. So much fun.

Anyhow, the reason for bringing this up now (I met him on Friday), is that last night he called me. I missed the call, but he left a voicemail asking if Kayden and I wanted to come over for dinner (oh, he cooks too...using stuff from his garden). It was totally cute and innocent, not like a skeevy "yeah, bring your kid (insert leer)" kind of way.

I called him back later and we (just he and I...not Kayden) arranged to meet up Friday night to hang out...and he's also going to try to meet me for lunch sometime next week.

While I do enjoy the crazy freaks like ________, it's really nice to hang out with a guy who's totally open and friendly and isn't afraid to call.

(Oh, and did I mention he's hot? And 6'3"?)

(And yes, we totally made out, in case you were interested. I gave him a tour of all the old dairy equipment in the haunted basement of my work and we ended up making out on the stairs. Only a couple hours later did we realize we were completely covered in dirt and dust.)

Evolution, Emos, and Evergreen.

1. I've been teaching Kayden a bit about evolution. I also teach him about other peoples' points of view. I make sure to reiterate that just because *I* believe in something doesn't mean he has to. But what pisses me off is that other people try to go against what I'm teaching him. We were riding in the car and he brought up evolution again. He told me that his grandpa (Scott's dad) was giving him reasons why evolution isn't true. I think he said something like, "If we evolved from apes, how come we've stopped evolving?" or something like that. I don't know. It really pissed me off that a full-grown man is trying to impose his personal beliefs on my kid, when my goal is to raise Kayden with an open mind. I need not have worried, though. Apparently, Kayden said back to him, "Well, maybe we're still evolving" or something like that.

2. I worry Kayden is doomed to become an Emo. This is how he looks when he styles his own hair:

We had to be out of the house for a couple of hours while someone was looking at it, so we drove to Evergreen and at hot wings at a divey little restaurant and looked at scenery. We passed by a hippie restaurant and Kayden really wants to go there next weekend, and then go hiking.

I'm worried I'm sending out the wrong signals.

When I go out, I don't think I'm blatantly sexual or whorish at all. In general, I'll hang out, chat a lot, goof around, and occasionally meet someone I hit it off with. I never dress slutty (and actually wear a ridiculous amount of layers) and I don't hang all over a guy in public.

But for some reason, I'm worrying that I'm giving off signals that I'm a whore or klassy or something. Not really at work or anything (although I think they all think I'm a huge partier)...just when I'm out. I really worry that because of this, I might scare away all the nice guys, which I don't want. I've definitely attracted too many freaks lately. And I feel like if a woman really enjoys having sex, she's opening herself to be viewed by others as a whore.

Anyhow, maybe I'm overanalyzing again...it just bothers me to think that others may be seeing me completely wrong. Sure, they'll see me out and about, being wild at a bar on a Friday night. But they don't see what I'm like the other 80% of the time: cleaning house, playing chess with my son, going hiking, taking care of household business, sitting at Starbucks with a friend, reading...

This rant was brought to you by the letter Q and the fact that an asshole said I seemed like the kind of a girl who "fucks a different guy each night."

I told him to fuck off.


He contacted me on yahoo chat last night. He asked if I was still mad, then he said he was really sorry and he likes me. I replied that I don't let the comments of strangers affect me. He then wrote, "Well, I didn't mean it in a bad way." I didn't (and won't) reply.

What a douche. He's lucky he's pretty, because he'll never get by on his personality or intelligence.

April 4, 2008

Pride in customer service, eh?

So, I went to my bank yesterday. The teller was on the phone and waved me up to her counter. Didn't say hi or anything, just reached out and took my check. While she was processing it (it was for my auto loan, not a deposit, which she would have discovered sooner if she had asked), I listened in to her conversation. She was apparently complaining to their courier company about one of the couriers... apparently the courier is rude. At one point, she slipped me a piece of paper, asking me to write down my social security number. Seriously, she didn't speak to me once.

The funny part was when she launched into a passionate diatribe about how they put their customers first and how important customer service is to them. I snorted a bit at that. After she processed my payment, she didn't even say good night or anything...just kept talking.

By god, I WILL go out.

I don't care if the root canal sucks the life out of me. I WILL GO OUT.

My work is SURROUNDED by people going to Opening Day at the baseball field. Cool Temp CW said her friends (who are on a kickball team) are going to Falling Rock after the game. Bowers texted me to "hit him up later." I have ______ to be _______. And it's gorgeous outside. I would never forgive myself if I allowed all these opportunities to pass by.

::itching to get out of the office::


Homina homina homina... a super-freaking-hot guy just came in, chatted with me for a bit, then headed off to the game with another cw (a guy).

::explodes from tension::

Further update:

(I haven't been a single girl during baseball season before...this might be too much...i might pass out.)

April 3, 2008

Me, a scrapper?

I had lunch with all of the admins today. At one point, someone brought up high school fist fights and that started a round of "who has ever gotten into a fist fight?" I mentioned that I had before and a bunch of girls were like, "Yeah, I believe it..."

One girl who is about six inches taller and weighs probably about 50 lbs more said she really thinks I would win in a fight between us because I look like a "scrapper."

April 2, 2008

I may have partied too hard last night.

A few items of note:

- met a cute hippie/stoner named Ronnie...hung out with his friends for a bit. Since he works at the bar we went to, Kort's drink was only $2.

- got my foot stuck in a crevice at Falling Rock...yanked it out so hard, I flew out of my barstool and onto the floor.

- ________ totally cockblocked me last night: I started chatting with a cute guy and we were talking and laughing and whatnot. ________ came up and said, "Hey Kelli...sorry I didn't return your text last night..." It kind of cracked me up that he suddenly decided to bring that up. It's like he had to mark his territory or something with the other guy.

- Hung out with _______ at, like, 3 a.m. Don't remember too much of what happened after, except that at one point, I gave him a bloody nose. Don't know how it happened. At another point, he totally fell onto his head. I couldn't stop laughing. It was totally remniscent of me flying off of my barstool.

I absolutely love going out on the weeknights, as opposed to the weekends. It's so much more laid-back and quiet...a totally different atmosphere.