March 31, 2008

Kort and I bumped into Cutie-Pie Roger

on the street on Saturday. He didn't recognize me at first because of my huge sunglasses. But once he did, he said, "Oh, I thought about coming to see you this week." ::squeal::

And Kort has confirmed that he is indeed adorable. I think her words were, "Even I felt flustered!"

Oh, and I gave him my number.

Starbucks at 5am, Learning Russian at the Bar, and the Fireman

Friday night: we made our 16th St walk. After walking back, we went to Whiskey Bar. It was a little snobbish for me. Bowers met us there and we had some drinks.

I slept at Bowers' house until about 5 a.m., then got up. He drove me to a Starbucks and I waited there for Kort. While there, the barista asked why I was there so early. I replied, "Morning after...I had to leave wherever the hell I was."

Saturday: I went home, tried to sleep, did some errands, then picked up Kayden. Immediately after, I had to drive him to my office, where Celeste picked him up for his sleepover. From there, I went home and did more errands. When finished, I went and picked Kort up and we, once again, drove downtown. We stopped at Falling Rock for dinner and for a rum-off warm-up, then we made the walk.

So, we went back to Falling Rock and sat on the patio for a while. Then we went inside and sat at the bar. I talked with a Russian guy and he taught me a bunch of phrases, while the rum-off carried on. He taught me to say "Give me man!" (dimanya mushchina) Well, he taught me "give me" and I added the man part. He also taught me "salami" (kalbassu) and "line 'em up and shoot 'em down" to which we would mimic machine gun fire after shouting the phrase. It was a blast. At one point after saying, "Give me man," _______ said, "How do you say 'dining room table'?" Kort cracked up and I said, "Dude, you're not supposed to know about that! Quit laughing!" ________ replied, "I know girls talk..."

So, the Russian guy started getting creepy, whispering that he wanted me and so on. I pulled out the salute with Kort, who returned the salute and we coordinated our plan to leave. _________ started to protest, but I told him the Russian guy was getting creepy. We left Falling Rock, sat down at a bench and watch a bagpiper for a while. Then we swung by ESPN Zone, played air hockey, shot basketballs, and left. We went to Blake Street Tavern, which was a pretty cool little place. There, Barry met us for a drink and took Kort home. I drove straight home and went to sleep.

Sunday: After doing some errands, I picked up Kayden from Celeste's house and went home. We played games, crocheted, etc. Then, Scott picked him up around 6:00. After that, I went to Kort's house, picked her up, and we went to Falling Rock. We ate dinner, played pool, then decided to leave. I drove her home. On my way home, I texted the Fireman. We decided to meet up at Old Chicago. At one point, he said I seem like I'm on a perpetual spring break or something. That cracked me up.

March 28, 2008

I should share less at work.

Crazy Coworker, who I'm pretty friendly with, and I were talking about weekend plans. She asked what I was going to go tonight. I mentioned that I was supposed to have a date. She said, "Oh with the guy from Jason's Deli?" I said, "Um, no...different guy." She went on, "Oh, the bartender?" "Um, no...different guy." She laughed and said "you're definitely divorcing...I felt like I was in heat during my divorce."

LMAO! Um, thanks?

Sometimes Kayden sounds just like me.

The other day, I picked him up from his daycare. We were talking about his day at school and whatnot. At one point, he said, "I find it very int-er-est-ing." That's something I find myself saying often and he even super-enunciated "interesting" like I do. It made me giggle to hear him say that phrase about something childlike (I think he was describing the game of tag or something).

Anyhow, that's all.

I think Scar Cat is gone for good.

It's been nearly a week that he's been missing. I checked at two animal shelters, called the closest vet's office, and looked all around our neighborhood and the neighboring neighborhood (did you catch that?).

Aside from hanging up a flyer at the mailboxes, I can't think of what else to do.

::wishing it were Lily and not Scar Cat that was missing:: <~~~Evil, I know. Everytime she snuggles up to me, I think, "I wish it were you! Not my Scar Cat!"

March 27, 2008

Cavities, Cats, and Cute Guys: my day in review.

1. Kayden had a tooth extracted this morning. It had a pretty big cavity in it and since it was a baby tooth, the dentist decided to just remove the tooth altoghether. Not sure how I feel about this...but too late now. He was at home, recovering until around noon and then he felt ready to go to school.

2. Scar Cat is still missing. I checked at the Dumb Friends League shelter, but he's not there. I'll be checking a couple shelters tonight, as well as posting a reward flyer in our neighborhood. I'm pretty sure someone has him though, like last time he went missing.

3. Scott just called me to tell me his work schedule has changed. I won't be getting Fridays off anymore (unless he can get it changed back). That means my free nights will be Sundays and/or Mondays. Woo-hoo. <~~~~note the sarcasm. Now, my annoyance isn't completely selfish. It sucks for Kayden that he gets to see his dad a total of six hours a week (since he gets picked up around 6 p.m. and goes to bed around 9 p.m. both nights).

4. Due to #3, it looks like I might have to cancel my first date with Mike.

5. I have a killer headache and the prescribed Ibuprofen 800 isn't doing a damn thing for it.

6. On the bright side, I've been texting with two very cute guys this morning. That cheered me up. But they're both asking when we can get together. Umm...reply hazy, try again later. I don't know. I'm kind of wondering if I shouldn't just stop trying to date and go back to the convenient friend-with-benefits thing. Dating is too hard when you never know when your next free night is. Not to mention that my "babysitter" has a tendency of becoming unavailable without much notice.

So, the moral of this post is that I'm grumpy and feeling all bad for myself.

March 26, 2008

And to top it all off...

I have a fever and headache, I have Kayden's dentist appointment to pay for tomorrow (don't know how much it'll cost yet), I have a bunch of shit to do at home and no time to do it, my cat is still missing (3 days now), and the next time I have any free time to myself isn't until Friday.

Where did this week go wrong?

Interesting: I have another date.

Mike just called me. This is the guy who I mistook for my ex-boyfriend at Falling Rock. He was really cute and friendly, but we didn't really have much time to chat.

Anyhow, he called and was very direct. He asked when I might be available next. I said Friday night. He then asked if I would rather do dinner or just drinks (I replied just drinks). He then suggested about four different places. I'm very impressed. Many guys stumble around what to do, where to go, whatnot. I didn't even have to give a suggestion...just picked out one of his. He did offer up Falling Rock hesitantly, but I turned that down right away. I said I didn't like that place on the weekends. ;)

So, um, 5:30 on Friday night.

Can't stop sobbing. Re: HOA fees.

Well, the ex has attacked again. There is a lien on my house now, due to unpaid HOA fees. Now, at first, I was thinking it's because he hasn't paid during the last couple months.

Nope, this nonpayment habit extends back to while we were still together. Apparently, there have been lots of letters from the attorneys that never actually reached me (most likely, Josh was intercepting mail even after he moved out).

I just talked to a lady at the HOA place. She thinks she might be able to have the lien lifted...but I have to pay it in full. I have a week.

And I owe $700. Yup, before the end of the week. Fuck. Me.

And no, Josh will not (and cannot) pay any of this. I know already.

So, um, I'm not sure just how much to divulge

Some things got, um, a little wild.

Because Kort was already downtown for Keggs and Eggs, we'll start this weekend post with Friday afternoon: we went to the DMV on my lunch break so I could get a new license. Most fun at the DMV ever. She was drunk, dropped her burrito, we talked a lot...when it was my turn for a photo, I asked if I could wink (no), blow a kiss (no, no flirty gestures at all). When I received a piece of paper verifying my license info (since they just mail the ID to you), I asked if this meant I could get into bars again. I didn't realize I had been so loud until I heard Kort laughing from somewhere in the room.

So, uh...Friday night: Kort and I went downtown, ate dinner at our favorite nacho place, talked, shared a Long-Island iced tea, flirted with the bartender, supported a children's charity with a donation, exploited said children's charity, then walked down the pedestrian mall.

On our way back, we ran into our favorite pedi-cabber, Jesse. We asked him for bar suggestions and he took us to Fado's, an Irish pub. We had a drink, wandered around and got acquainted with this bar. We bumped into some guys who told us about an outdoor concert going on right then. So we went and watched the concert (a local band called the Railbenders). Sadly, no one was dancing. ::sigh:: Because that's just depressing (going to a concert and not dancing), Kort and I whooped it up. We danced our asses off and had so much fun that my side hurt from laughing so hard.

After an hour-ish, we left to get some water. We went back to Fado's and got into an incredibly packed line at the bar. At one point, I worried that I had cut in front of some guys, so I asked. One said yes and we joked about getting in a fight, which led to the question of whether one was a lover or a fighter. This somehow led to him giving me a kiss, which led to me kissing him, which led to Kort kissing his friend, which led to him kissing his friend, which led to Kort kissing me, which led to all four of us kissing at the same time (first time for everything, eh?). It was fun. It was freaky. It was a Friday night in Denver.

I think the guys' names were Mike and Shawn, but I can't remember which was which. At some point, we met their friends, Tony and Ben.

Let's skip ahead about an hour to where Tony and I found ourselves friendless and alone in the bar. We hung out and chatted and kissed a bit and chatted some more. This is Tony:

After a while, we met up with Mike (I'm still not sure if this is actually Mike, but for the purposes of this post, we'll assume his name is Mike). Here are Tony and Mike:

We decided to go to Lodo's, which is the bar where Keggs and Eggs was held, and which turns into a dance club at night. Because I was out of cash at this point, the guys paid for the cab, for my drinks, for my cover at the club. Once there, we met up with Shawn and hung out. Mike and I danced for a while and it was a blast. It was the freaky-fun kind of dancing you can only have with someone you're pretty sure is gay. Throughout the night, I danced with Mike, Shawn, and Tony...sometimes all at once. After a couple hours, Tony and I decided to leave but he was drunk and got irritating. He wanted to go back to Fado's to look for his lost jacket. Once there, I ditched him and walked back to my work where I met up with Kortney. Together, we walked around a bit, met some guys, ditched them, and went to IHOP. Then, we went to my house and crashed for the night.

Saturday: after cleaning and running some errands with Kayden (who was dropped off at 9 in the morning), we goofed around and hit a bucket of balls at the range:

Then, his best friend came over and spent the night. We went to the park, then I watched some movies while they played and stayed up too late. It was fun and very mellow.

Sunday: Kayden's friend went home around 2-ish. Richard Ford called with his latest hissy fit and "dumped me" again (LOL) because I wasn't returning his annoying texts. Kayden and I cleaned up again and played and goofed around until about 6 p.m. when his dad picked him up for the night. Soooooooo...yeah, I went downtown. Kort was hanging out at Falling Rock with some coworkers, so I met up with them. That was a lot of fun. Sexy Dave and Bryan were working, so we got a few free drinks. And then ________ called and I decided to go over to his house and ____________ and ___________ and then I went home.

March 25, 2008

My phone is sad.

My phone list is mostly comprised of numbers I'm avoiding. I keep the numbers programmed in there so I know to not answer it if it rings.

Adrian, Australian, Dick, Doug, Josh, Kenny, Ladell, Richard Ford...

Using power for evil. Again.

Annoying Admin is calling Delivery Boyfriend Roger's work to complain about an order he may have messed up. I should go in the server room and disconnect her phone from there so the call can't go through.

Annoying Admin may have reached a new low.

I was sitting at my desk and got to witness the following conversation between Aaron, a nice real estate guy, and Annoying Admin.

Aaron: ::notices ring on AA's ring finger:: That's a nice engagement ring.
AA: it's not an engagement ring! Why does everyone assume it's an engagement ring? I bought it myself...I didn't need someone to buy it for me!
Aaron: sorry, I just thought that's why girls wore a ring like know, it shows they're taken
AA: well, I AM off the market...I have a boyfriend. You should buy your girlfriend a ring.
Aaron: I don't think we're there yet...
AA: How long have you been together?
Aaron: Um, about 5 years.
AA: Well, I think it's about time, don't you? You must not care enough if you haven't asked already. You should know within the first year...
Aaron: Um, there's a lot more to it: age, money...
AA: You either need to ask or break it off...
Aaron: Err, um... ::runs into office::

I was laughing my ass off and giving Aaron sympathetic looks. I couldn't believe her nerve. He looked SO uncomfortable.

March 24, 2008

Dang. My phone has better morals than me.

I took a picture of a clean-shaven ________ from my camera phone last night. He didn't want me to take the picture. He said, "I don't want my picture to end up all over your blog or whatever!"

I replied, "It won't, I promise. It's only for my enjoyment."

He relented, I got the picture, and now my phone isn't letting me send the picture to my email.

::angry face::

Waxes, Dates, and No Doughnuts.

Friday: I didn't work, so I took care of a lot of stuff. I went to the dentist, found out I need two root canals. They put me on penicilin and Ibuprofen 800 until I go back next Tuesday.

I got a Brazilian wax after leaving the dentist (glutton for punishment, right?). I had wanted to leave a small patch of hair, but we got carried away while talking and the waxer took it all. ALLLLLLL of it. She felt really bad after she realized her error and discounted the wax by about $10. I told her I didn't mind and that it would grow back. It wasn't as painful as I had expected. However, there were a couple times I yelped or kicked my leg out in pain. I followed this up with a brow wax.

Friday night: please refer to my "I think I went on a date post below." Unfortunately, this is the only photo I got of Bowers:

Saturday: got a stupid, stupid migraine which knocked me on my ass for much of the afternoon. Kayden and I dyed easter eggs, played video games, went to see Horton Hears a Hoo, and hung out at home.

Sunday: forgot about the whole Easter thing, hurried and put together Kayden's basket (luckily, I had bought gifts and stuff during Productive Friday), did an Easter egg hunt, did a scavenger hunt at the storage shed, trying to find baseball equipment for Kayden ("and Megatron, Mommy! I want to find Megatron!"), went to friend's house for Easter dinner, did another egg hunt, came home, got Kayden ready to go to Scott's house. ::sigh:: It was a long day.

Sunday night: swung by Kort's house to pick up books, ended up picking up Kort instead. We went to Falling Rock for dinner. At one point, I saw a guy that I *swore* was my ex-boyfriend from 5+ years ago. After a couple hours, I got up and went over to that table. I came out and asked if his name was Chris. He replied, "It could be..." and we started talking. Turns out, he ISN"T my ex-boyfriend, but instead, is a super-cute and friendly and flirty guy named Mike. He came over and sat at our table for a bit. We chatted, got to know each other, exchanged phone numbers, and he gave me a kiss on the cheek. Excellent.

After Mike (who I keep thinking of as "Chris" now) left, we played pool with his friends for a couple hours. They were pretty fun and we had a good time. After I took Kort home, I hooked up with __________. I know he comes across as an asshole, but I think he's genuinely a great guy. Just a little flaky and spaced out. He's such a sweet guy, was asking about how I'm dealing with the cub scout thing, how I feel about Josh not being around anymore, and so on. Unfortunately, due to being up most of the night, I'm dragging my ass today.

Oh, and this morning, I launched the "wellness program" without a hitch. The coworkers really liked the "doughnuts in the kitchen" gag (I actually had fruit inside a doughnut box) and people are responding positively to the program itself. Kudos for Kelli!

March 22, 2008

So I think I went on an actual "date" last night.

Kind of bizarre...I don't really remember a time I've dated like a regular person. I usually meet the guy, become boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's it. This whole thing is a new experience.

So, I met Josh--who will from hence forth be referred to as Bowers, because I really don't want to keep saying Josh--at a pub for some drinks. So, I didn't really remember what he looked like, just that I thought he was cute. Apparently, it was the same with him. Luckily, I wore the same hat as before, so he found me pretty quickly. And, well, he's super adorable.

We had SO much fun chatting. He's from Chicago, is a sports guy all the way (plays hockey, used to coach a kids hockey team), into hip-hop/rap, and is actually pretty intelligent (a smart jock? Really?). He works in sales, but is thinking of leaving because he's worried the company is shady and that bothers him.

We talked for a couple hours, then went to ESPN Zone and played there. I kicked his ass in air hockey, he kicked my ass in the football-throwing game, and we both rocked the mini-bowling. Throughout the whole night, he paid for everything. Very date-like, indeed.

So, um, yeah. I'm pretty sure we'll see each other again.

March 21, 2008

Just got back from the dentist.

I've been there since 8:30. ::sigh::

I need two root canals and have to take antibiotics for an absessed tooth. But on the bright side, I got some painkillers.

March 20, 2008

I think Josh/Stranger from Bar and I might have

more in common than I originally thought. This was our text conversation last night:

(We were still working out when we might be able to meet up for a drink...)

J/SFB: Friday then?

Kelli: You want to set solid plans or just call me then?

J/SFB: I hate to make plans and not keep them, at the same time, the "winging it" approach is not working either. I do have some dinner plans but after that I am free. You let me know if you got all that.

Kelli: I'm glad I'm not the only nerd who uses punctuation in texts. How about you call after dinner and we'll try one more time to wing it?

J/SFB: Sounds good. Punctuation captures the tone of the text. By the way, we are not nerds, just intelligent. I capitalize sometimes too.

(And I didn't have to edit either...he actually spells correctly, which is HUGE.)

Remember a couple days ago, I posted about the super-cute vendor I like?

He just came in again. We talked. Again. He asked what kind of sports I was into (since I've never been skiing). I mentioned baseball and he said, "Well, we should go to a Rockies game sometime..." I said absolutely and I love going to Rockies games...we talked about opening day, weekend plans, and such. As he was leaving, he said, "So, where do you hang out in LoDo?" I replied, "Falling Rock" and followed it up with, "If you are downtown on Friday night, you should swing by..." He was like, "Yeah, absolutely!"

(Fuck. And I just realized ________ works at Falling Rock on Friday nights. Dammit, I suck at this kind of thing.)

Anyhow, I really hope I can see him this weekend. Unlike most the guys I have been meeting, I might really like this one. ::squeals::

March 19, 2008

I love Cub Scouts, mmkay?

This was the first meeting that I took Kayden to, since Josh has backed out. We rushed home, I got him ready. This went smoothly, except he had to instruct me on how to tie his neck thing. When I explained to him that Josh wouldn't be taking him anymore and the reason why, Kayden got really upset and almost started crying. But then as we headed to the meeting, he said, "So you're going to start taking me to my meetings?" I said yes and he replied, "I guess I'll get used to it."

So, onto the meeting. All week, I had known Kayden's meeting was going to be at the fire station. I just didn't really think much about it. Until we walked inside. I think I grinned and blushed the entire time.

Hot. Firemen. Everywhere.

We had two guys as our tour guides, one of which was very hot and funny. ::fans self:: In my mind, I thought, "Thank you, Josh!"

Anyhow, getting back to the scout thing. Only one other kid was there and I knew his dad so it was cool.

Kayden in the firetruck:

Hot Fireman Ed helping Kayden out of the truck:

So after taking them on a tour, Hot Fireman Ed put on his uniform. I seriously could not stop smiling and possibly hyperventilating:

And then he talked to them about not being afraid of a fireman, just because he sounds like Darth Vader:

And nearing the end of the tour, they got an emergency call and had to move out:

Best. Cub Scout meeting. Ever.

Stranger from the Bar.

So, remember around the beginning of March when Kort went out (not helpful at all, huh?) with her coworkers, and we made eyes at the guy at the next table. We only chatted with him long enough to exchange numbers and then we were off. Both of us were pretty drunk by that point, so I don't really remember anything about him except that he was hot (and we'll assume I wasn't wearing my Rum And Coke goggles).

So, every since then, this guy (his name is Josh, but I prefer to call him Stranger From the Bar) and I have texted a few times a week. We keep trying to get together for a drink or something. Unfortunately, he's pretty busy at work and I'm busy with mom-stuff. We just never seem to have time to meet up.

He just texted me saying, "I'm playing hooky today. Let me know when you get off work and I'll buy you a drink." I had to write back that I'm busy tonight (soccer practice), but free on Friday. Maybe someday we'll actually meet again.

Divorce sucks even more for the kid.

I'm really starting to believe that you don't truly know someone until you divorce them. Josh was such a great father figure to Kayden and seemed to just adore him. But apparently, it's too hard for him to be around Kayden now? Fuck that. I would try my hardest to stay in my stepkid's life if they meant that much to me.

So, he's out completely. In his last email to me, he basically said that we have no reason to ever speak again except about the divorce. Plus, he hasn't actually been around for a couple weeks now, so I think he means it this time. Good riddance.

I think Kayden misses Josh in theory. Like, he knows that he cares for Josh and that he would like to see him. But he never mentions Josh, except if we're doing something that Josh was usually a part of (like Scouts). I think he'll be just fine.

Oh, and last night, Kayden said, "But what if I don't get used to my new step-dad." That threw me off and I told him that I'm not getting married anytime soon and that I would never marry someone he didn't like. That made him feel better.

I have a really creepy cat.

It's true. Scar Cat is, not surprisingly, probably the creepiest cat I've ever known.

This morning, just as I was waking up, I looked across the room to see Scar Cat sitting in the middle of the floor. Just staring at me. Not moving. Nothing around him. He was just watching me sleep. I swear that little bastard is plotting something.

March 18, 2008

I'm twitching.

Partly because I've had WAY too much caffeine.

And partly because a vendor that I kind of like just stopped by the office and we talked and flirted up a storm. ::fans self::

I was too shy to ask for his number or give him mine. But I'm pretty sure there is a mutual interest there.

Can't stop shaking.

Crawl Space.

So, I've had to uncover the creepy crawl space in my basement in order to show the house. It's basically a hole cut out of the wall and is completely pitch black inside.

Last night, I was cleaning the kitchen and needed to get the broom/dustpan out of the basement (there's no pantry or storage in my kitchen, so I keep them in the basement). They were leaning up against the wall beside the crawl space. As I reached for them, I got such a clear, disturbing image of a hand reaching out of the crawl space hole and grabbing onto me, that I ran back upstairs. I didn't dare to go back down there all night (or this morning).

And it doesn't help that no matter how many times I seem to shut off the basement light, it's always back on by morning.

I hate that fucking thing.

(Here's a picture of the crawl space. Well, it's actually behind the shelves and covered up by that nailed-in board. That's as good as you're going to get from me.)

March 17, 2008

I've just been asked to head up the "wellness committee" at work.

The company is doing a program that will encourage employees to do things like eat well, sleep enough hours, take time for relaxation, etc.

Paige asked me to head this up, think of ideas to help motivate the office, plan activities.

I said I would, but I find it very hilarious, since I'm probably the most unhealthy person at the office. Our office is full of people who run/hike/bike every chance they get. They bring in healthy, homemade meals and so on. I'm the one who dines out every day and occasionally comes in hungover and only on three hours of sleep. But since I'm all creative, they want me in charge. ::snort::

I got an email with guidelines about achieving "wellness". One line said, "Avoid alcohol and caffeine..." I read that out loud, then said to Paige, "How do they expect me to function?!"

This will be fun.

March 13, 2008

Attention, everybody.

My new tattoo features neither my mom nor Joan Baez nor myself. Keep on guessing, though.

March 12, 2008

I gave Richard Ford tips on how to pick up women.

I asked him what he does if he sees a hot girl. He said he gives her the "eye" which looked more like a glare.

So I talked to him about how to tell whether he should approach a girl or not, advised him on smiling and talking more.

At one point, it occurred to me that it was a little tips to someone I'm kind of "seeing". But we're actually becoming friends and the boy needs help in this arena.
I believe my function in his life is to teach him the ways of the woman and prepare him for the next one.

I have a black hole on my living room floor.


First off, I had my drivers license a couple weeks ago. Kort and I went out, then came back to my place. We made a bed on the living room floor and watched movies and slept. I haven't been able to find my license since.

Now, one would write this off as an isolated incident. But then there were the pins.

Last Saturday night, Kayden and I lay down on the living room floor and watched movies. Prior to laying down, I pulled everything out of my pockets and put it on the floor next to me. There was a ton of change (probably about $3.00 in change) and a bunch of Hot IQs buttons. A few hours later, I kept falling asleep, so I gathered my pillow and blankets and went upstairs to bed. The next morning, I came downstairs to find about $.40 and a single button in that spot (not scattered around or anything).

My first thought was that the cat was stealing things again. He has a habit of batting things around until they eventually wind up on the stairs and in the basement bathroom. However, I found no sign of any change or buttons. Nuttin'. Nearly a week later and I still haven't found anything.

Spooky, yes? The living room sits right above my creepy crawl space. I have reason to believe there is a positive correlation between the creepy crawl space and the black hole.

March 11, 2008

Craft Fair!

Whew! What a Crazy Couple of Months!

I've not been doing much crocheting and even less blogging about crocheting. The Christmas season really took up a lot of my time...the NFL book thongs were pretty popular stocking stuffers (my tired fingers can attest to this). I also worked my first craft show, which was a lot of fun.

So, now that life is slowing down a bit, I'll post some of my most recent projects.

Very rarely do I actually keep items I've made for myself...however, I absolutely love this hat. It's basically a rectangle, folded in half, and sewn up the sides. Love, love, love it.

Super-long braids!

March 10, 2008

I just got a phone call:

Kelli: Hello?

Caller: Hey Kelli, what's up?


Kelli: Who's this?

Caller: Rick

(longer pause)

Kelli: Um...


Kelli: Richard Ford?
Caller: Yeah
Kelli: Ohhhhhh, hey, what's up?


I have to assign nicknames so I can remember names better (not just for dudes...for everybody). When someone introduces themselves by their actual name, it throws me off in the worst way.

I think I'm invisi-PMSing.

I watched Major League last night and nearly cried when they finally won the pennant.

I puffy-heart vintage Charlie Sheen.

Friday Mad Libs

Note from the Future: You may have noticed occasional missing bits from posts. Keene told me a story about a woman that wrote a book about the CIA. The CIA then went back through and "redacted" much of the sensitive information. He suggested I do the same for certain things which I feel may not be appropriate for the world to view. Brilliant suggestion, Keene!

This was going to be a weekend post, but Friday alone took so much space I decided to split it up into separate posts.

Friday night: went downtown with Kort. First, we walked the length of 16th Street Mall (the outdoor pedestrian pavillion)...we had made it a rule that we must walk the mall whenever we go out drinking as a way to combat some of the calories we are ingesting. So, walked down the mall...along the way, we met up with Krystle.

Things are a little fuzzy, but I *think* we went to Sports Column first, had some jello shots and other drinks. Awkwardness abounded when we bumped into ____ there. He said hi, put his arm around, chatted for about 15 seconds, then went back to Falling Rock (I guess he was there for cigarettes or something). That kind of put a damper on my mood, though I did manage to drown it with liquor for a bit.

Next up, we went to Croc's--a restaurant/bar/club, but we got denied since my valid license is missing (again!) and my expired license wouldn't do the trick. So, we headed to Falling Rock. Along the way, we met a couple guys who were eating their dinner outside. We chatted with them for a bit.

**Now, what you should know about me is that when I drink, I became VERY chatty. I call out to passerbys, people inside buildings, etc. I talk to EVERYONE.**

So, we got to Falling Rock, but I got denied at the door because of the license thing. A quick text to ______ got me admittance (did I abuse the privileges of the fuckbuddy relationship there?), but Krystle had to go we made the trek back to the train station. On our way BACK to Falling Rock, we saw some guys on bikes. Of course, I yelled out, "Hey boys on bikes!" They turned around and we hung out for a bit. These turned out to be the most interesting people of the night.

Their names are John and Mike and they claimed to be brothers. Although they gave numerous reasons for why they weren't hippies, they were probably the most true-to-life hippies I've ever met. We sat down on the sidewalk and had a long conversation about Ralph Nader, philosophy, music, religion, hippies, and more.

The one with dreadlocks claims to be a virgin. Don't know if I buy that. He was cute, 24, and extremely intelligent. The other one had hair like Andy Gibb and was quieter but also very smart. Both were very cute and fun.

After Dreadlocks gave me a ride on his handlebars and Kort rode Andy Gibb's bike, we parted ways. We continued on to Falling Rock. We went downstairs and were pleased to find it not so crowded. We decided to play pool. At one point, a couple women walked past me, to the bathroom. One said something about ______. I didn't quite catch what. When they came back out, though, they introduced themselves to us. They said they had been looking for pretty girls to talk to all night and here we were.

So, after we met, they started in on how much I looked like ______ and I was like his clone and I was so cute in my little hat and I should hook up with him because we look so much alike. I was like, "Oh, um, yeah...haha!" Their names are Shazaam! (yeah, I know) and Monica. They claim to be regulars, so I'm sure we'll bump into them again.

By this time, I was sobering up and feeling very melancholy about the whole stupid _______ thing. We went upstairs for last call, where Kort met a couple boys: Evan and Danny.

Danny and Kort sharing their burrito with a guy on the street:


We went to their house to hang out and _____________________.

Yes, Evan is wearing my coat and hat:

Me jumping up to pose with Danny:

Since I am so short, he picked me up so I could take the picture:

From there, we ___________________ and decided that Kort is NOT allowed to ________________ anymore. Long story short, we couldn't find my car keys, she was freaking out, and it was 4 a.m. so we rode a cab back to her house.

And that, my friends, was Friday.

(This is like a messed-up Mad Libs game!)

Aquariums and Broken Cars

Saturday afternoon, I let Kayden choose which activity we would do that day. He chose the aquarium. So, we spent a couple hours at the aquarium, getting wet from the built-in "flash flood simulation," watching the fishies, sharks, stingrays, etc. We toured the place two full times. ::insert exhausted sigh::

One of Kayden's favorite things to do was panning for gems. They dump a bag of dirt into this pan/sieve thing and the kids swish it back and forth until the gems are exposed:

The divers at the aquarium will stop cleaning the tanks and pose for pictures with people. However, Kayden is scared of them and wouldn't pose. I took this photo of him after Kayden ran away:

After we finished walking around (and hanging out in the gift shop for-fucking-ever), we sat down for a snack. Now, this is the thing I love about Denver...look how close everything is. We were at the aquarium, the amusement park is next door, and downtown is just across the river:

After we finally left there, we decided to have a slumber party. We stopped at the store and picked up a few old videos. Then we picked up some dinner, made a bed on the living room floor, and watched videos (Men in Black and Batman Forever) and ate and lay down. Very fun and laid-back.

Sunday was very productive. I cleaned my car (outside and INSIDE!), vacuumed the stairs and living room, cleaned up, did some laundry, crocheted a scarf...

But most importantly, I fixed my headlight finally. Yeah. By myself. With all my tools and my manual. And I got greasy and dirty and was scared I was going to electrocute myself. But I did it.

I'm practically a grease-monkey now:

Today, I am a (Wo)Man:

::cue trumpets::

My sister cracks me up.

She'll go weeks without being in communication...then out of the blue, I'll get a random text like, "Do you have the recipe for Brandy Alexanders?" or "Do you have any pics of mom before she went jeepers creepers?"

March 8, 2008


Kayden just started singing a Flobots song... "I can ride my bike with no handlebars...with no handlebars..."

Clearly, he's spending too much time with Kort.

March 7, 2008

The universe has a wicked sense of humor.

My Myspace account was hacked a few days ago and left jibberish on a few of my friends' pages.

Well, I checked to see who got hit. Out of the six people, one was Courier Boyfriend. Yeah. I've never established communication with him via Myspace prior to this (even though I recently added him to my "friends"). Our first official communication is a long jumble of words. I wrote a follow-up comment, apologizing for the jibberish.

It was like my computer got nervous about talking to him and vomited all over his comment section.

March 6, 2008

Oh, Kayden.

Last night, when I arrived at his after-school daycare, he ran up to me and apologized for "being mean" right off the bat. Then on the way home, we discussed what we would each do to ensure that that doesn't happen again. I told him his bedtime would be pushed up a half-hour as part of being "grounded." When his bedtime rolled around, he did everything to get ready for bed without my asking. This morning, he made his bed, got dressed, cleaned up, and everything also without being asked.

It's hard to stay mad at him.

I texted _________.

To tell him happy b-day. He responded within a minute and told me about his day. That was all, but I found it encouraging, nonetheless.

You guys are disappointed in me, aren't you? ::slaps wrist::

I've decided, in the interest of NOT playing games, to just say I like him and want to see him more. If he's not down with that, I'll cut him out completely. And move on to Jonathan.

Ran into Pushy Guy's Friend

I was walking back to my office and saw both of them out the corner of my eye. I had sunglasses, a hat, and a coat on, so I figured I was good. However, after a minute, Ladell ran up beside me.

**Adrian is the one that kept texting me and so I told him to back off. Ladell is the friend.**

I took out my headphones and was polite. At one point, he asked if I would be free this weekend. I replied, "As I mentioned to your friend, I'm a single mother and don't have much free time." He replied, "Well, can you get a babysitter?" Um, no. He then said, "Well, you can bring your kid along..." I laughed and said I don't think so and "I don't introduce him to dates."

Pushy guy. I'm just going to avoid the both of them from here on.

March 5, 2008

This is why I shouldn't play with Kayden.

I get too dramatic with his toys:

"Why?! Oh, god, why?!"

Kayden excused me from further playing.

And a bonus super-cute photo:

Are your ovaries a-quiverin' yet?

Men are nuts.

I hate them all.

So, Adrian (a guy I met at lunch yesterday) texted me throughout the day yesterday. He was basically asking when I would be available next. I explained that I'm a single mom and my time is limited. I said I was available most days for lunches or for a drink on Friday night. He kept texting, asking for another photo, asking what I like to do for fun, seeing how long he could see me, saying he really likes me, etc.

His friend (who I also met yesterday) called me too. I didn't recognize the number, so I didn't answer. He called a second time. I talked to him briefly (he was calling to see if I got his email).

Last night, Adrian texted me to see if I was busy (I didn't respond). Then, this morning, he texted to see if I wanted to do lunch today. I'm really busy at work so I didn't see it. In the meantime, he sent three more texts.

I finally replied: "You're a nice guy and I appreciate the compliments but you guys are coming on way too strong. I'll call you when I have time."

I.E. BACK THE FUCK OFF. Yeah, I'm not meeting them for drinks after all, if this is the way they act after the first day.

March 4, 2008

Met two guys at lunch.

On my lunch breaks, if the weather is nice, I like to walk around Denver and listen to my music. I was doing this when a guy came walking up beside me. He walked with me and went on about how I am so beautiful, how he walked into a wall because of me, how all the "brothas" must hit on me, and so on.

After a couple of minutes talking and walking, a second dude ran up to me and introduced himself. I was like, "Um, do you guys know each other?" They said yes, they were eating together when I walked past and the second guy was still eating. So we stopped walking and they seriously were both hitting on me for, like, ten minutes. I was blushing like crazy.

Then, the first guy asked for my email address and the second guy asked for my number. They asked if they could both take me out for drinks sometime. I said, "Yeah, sure...I could bring a friend or something." They were both like, "Okay, but I want to sit closer to you..." Then we shook hands a billion times because each one wanted to be the last to shake my hand.

Give me the strength...

to not text _____. I haven't texted him since Tuesday. I saw him briefly on Friday night, but he was really busy.

I worry that I'll come off as clingy. Tell me not to text him. ::waiting::

Just a casual "what's up?" That's okay, yes?

No! I shouldn't.

I need to eat some dinner.

Fight with Grandpa.

I've put off telling him about the divorce because I was so sure he would say something like, "Yeah, I knew that was going to happen." Ever since the wedding, he constantly asked how things were between us, if we were splitting up yet.

So, I finally called him last night because I didn't want him to hear about it through the misinformed grapevine that is our family. The first thing he says? "Yeah, I'm not surprised at all."

We talked for a moment about what went wrong, then he steered the conversation to money. I answered his questions and listened to him rant and rave about things I need to do, things I'm doing wrong and so on. I quieted down a bit during this time. Then he said, "You must be're getting crabby." I said, "I'm not crabby, I just really don't like talking about money." He snapped and called me a spoiled little shit. He said, "Once the conversation leads toward something you don't want to talk about, you get all pissy and pout and cry." I bitched back that MAYBE I didn't want to talk about money because I'm in debt out the ass and it depresses me. We argued a bit and then I yelled that I don't like calling him because all he does is lecture me and tell me what I'm doing wrong with my life...maybe I'd just like to call and talk once in a while.

I don't know...we argued for maybe 10 minutes. Then he apologized in his way, which is that he's not really apologizing for his behavior/words...he's apologizing because I got upset when all he's trying to do is look out for me. He closed by saying, "I'm only trying to help you. Nobody ever taught you how to handle money. I guess it's too late now, huh?"

I hate that money is ALL he thinks about. This is the guy who equates money problems to being an alcoholic or something. Last year he was talking about how my mom was in jail for drug abuse at the time. Then he switched topics to my money problems and said, "Oh my, I sure hope you don't end up like your mom."

::slaps forehead::

March 3, 2008

Guy From Bar invited me out for drinks.

How very grown-up. This is the guy that I drunkenly made eyes at, while hanging out with Kort's coworkers. I don't remember what he looks like.

I told him that my schedule was pretty random, as far as what nights I have free and to keep in touch. I guess it couldn't hurt to meet him for a drink.

March 1, 2008

What's the nicest way to tell a guy:

"I'm just not that into you"?

When I went to the Flobots concert a week or two ago, a cute little guy started talking to me. He's 22-ish, quiet, VERY clean-cut, and not really my type at all. He asked for my number and I figured why the hell not, and gave it to him.

He called on Thursday to see if I wanted to get some dinner. I was busy that night (i.e., I had Kayden with me) and said I would call him Saturday or Sunday to hang out. But, uh, the more I think about it, the more I DON"T want to hang out.

So what's the nicest way to get rid of him? I think it would be a little shitty to just not call or avoid his future calls...or would it? Is that kinder than saying I just don't see anything happening between us?