Who Am I?

I am:

- A mother...a good mother

- A less-than-satisfied wife

- A college graduate

- Smart, at least a little talented, ambitious, pretty, naive, creative, full of life

- A writer, no matter how good or bad

- Underappreciated

- Underrated

- Confused, overwhelmed

- Passionate, flirtatious, unwilling to settle (or am I?)

- Fun, interesting, conceited, a loyal friend

- Argumentative, non-confrontational, a pushover

- Someone with many interests, all very different from the last

- Someone with potential for success

- An overachiever

- A typical 24-year-old

- A not-so-typical 24-year-old

What do I Want?

- An adventurous life: to see many places, do many once-in-a-lifetime things

- A love that can keep up with me on adventures, but can also make me enjoy the simple things in life: just sitting in front of the tv or going to a work party

- Time to live it up before settling down

- A house designed just for me

- The chance to help make others' lives better

- To write and publish well-loved books

- To never have to worry about money

- To never have to worry about my mom/sister/brothers/etc.

- To have a job I love

- To own a bookstore, to work for myself

- To have friendships that last until we're old

- To never say, "I wish I did that..."

- To learn lots of languages and use them

- To live in a foreign country

- To see the Dude have his own family

- To have a library full of books

- To see a movie made from a book I've written

He's got a new attitude.

The Dude.
Granted, he'd just been at his dad's house and usually acts like a brat for the next hour. Or four.

Yesterday I was helping my sister-in-law move to her new place.
I asked the Dude to take a cushion out to the moving van.

He said, "I don't want to. I don't have to do anything I don't want."
I said, "Oh yes you do."
He replied, "No, I don't...That's like forcing. You can't force me to do something."

I glared at him until he said sorry.
Then I lectured him about doing what I tell him to do.
Then he helped me move.

No wonder he likes hanging out with his dad: he gets lectures as soon as he comes home to repair the damage done over the weekend.

Heifer Genuine Draft

Last night I went to IHOP.

I ordered milk.

The waitress said, "What?"

I said "Milk".

She replied, "Oh, no...we don't serve beer."

I'm still confused

She had warned us for years...

The rhythm has finally gotten me!!

Oh-ay-oh-ay! Oh-ay-oh-ah!

A word to the wise:

The rhythm is highly contagious.

And it makes your crotch itch.

But that's beside the point.