October 31, 2007

The Garden Blanket

I got the idea to make a baby blanket that looks like a garden. I used a soft, acrylic yarn interwoven with a "Fun Fur" yarn to give the grassy effect. I just did a simple increasing square pattern throughout, then finished it off with a super-frilly border. To top it off, I sewed on some random flowers. Next up, I might try a "boyish" version of the garden blanket: dirt, bugs, worms, etc.

"Not really family."

MIL is a perfectly nice woman. Whenever I've gone to dinner with her, she buys, engages me in conversation, etc. However, it's very rare that I go to dinner with them. Most of the time either I find out last minute and I already have plans or Josh alludes to it being a "personal family thing". The latter has become more common since Andy's death...I'm not really family so I don't get invited as often. Such as when they buried Andy's ashes. I asked Josh if he wanted me to come. He seemed uncomfortable and said his mom only wanted him, his sister, and his stepdad there. No one else.

Even before Andy's death, she has never seemed particularly interested in getting to know me. I think she only knows what Josh has told her about me. And we've been together for nearly five years now. Moreover, while she gives Kayden birthday and Christmas gifts, she seems to have no inclination to spend time with him. She changed her mind about coming to his b-day party, never goes to his games. This has gotten worse since Josh's sister had a baby, now that she has a "true" grandkid.

It's pretty bad when, to this day, I still feel much closer to Scott's family than to my real in-laws.

Weird comment of the day.

I was talking to a coworker about Halloween. I mentioned that Kayden was going trick-or-treating with his dad today, and possibly later with me. Here's the conversation:

Crazy Coworker: You gonna hit the same houses?
Me No, we live in different cities.
CC: (confused) You're not together?
Me: No! We split up years ago.
CC: But you brought him to the company picnic!
Me: No, I brought my husband to the company picnic.
CC: Ohhhhh...so you've been with more than one man!
Me: (long pause) Yeah, I guess that's safe to say.


I feel like my job security is very low...but I don't really have any reason to believe that.

I do all that is asked of me and more. I'm the only one in the office who understands the computers, network, phones, processes, etc. I've been here nearly 3 years and have made very noticeable, very effective changes throughout the office.

Nonetheless, I'm really paranoid.

It doesn't help that the temp (who worked in my place all last week) is back today to help my supervisor with a "project".

October 29, 2007

I'm a twit, part 2.


Tucked into my Latin textbook.


I'm a twit.

I lost my drivers license, a credit card, and my bank card. Yes, all at once.

I waited for about two weeks, thinking they may be somewhere in my house or car, but I've torn those apart and nada. I've been monitoring my accounts, but no foreign charges have popped up. So today, I finally stopped both cards and will be receiving new cards soon.

The worst part will be finding time to get to the DMV and get a new license. Moreover, I puffy hearted my license photo and that is a rare phenomena.

I don't think my brain is back to normal yet.

I just tried to restock the printer with soda. D'oh!

Asinine comments heard in film class.

"Can we please not say 'women's issues'?"

- From a young girl who fancies herself a feminist, after the female teacher began a discussion on feminism. My eyes rolled so hard, they actually fell onto the desk.

"We decided we'd rather raise a quality human being, instead of putting our kid in daycare all day."

- From an upper-class, middle-aged woman, on why she and her husband decided she should be a stay-at-home-mom.

October 25, 2007

I wonder...

Do you think it's possible to successfully imitate the style or language of such classical authors as Austen or the Brontes or Tolstoy? If so, do you think the book would be as well-received in today's society?

This has been weighing on my brain lately. Yes, really. I've been fretting over this.
::stamps 'nerd' onto head::

I've read a few books that try to imitate it, but fail horribly. The closest I've come is Coldwater by Martie McConnochie. But even so...it wasn't quite the same.

October 22, 2007


Whenever people have talked about being on bed rest, I always think, "Wow...that sounds nice...like a vacation." But no, it's kind of not. There is so much stuff I have to do, but I can't. "Homework, I really need to work on homework..." and then I pass out. Or I think, "I could be working on crocheting right now," but my head is so foggy and my body just hurts to move. The only thing I can do is lay down, read, watch movies, and type.

Also, I'm kind of worried about work. Office Manager was definitely okay with me being out. She seemed genuinely concerned and sympathetic (she's had pneumonia before). They're just hiring a temp for the week. However, I can't help but worry. Earlier in the summer, we had a discussion about how much paid-time-off I had to use for a class (that was only offered during the day). I promised her that I wouldn't use anymore PTO until around Thanksgiving. Now, I know you can't predict or control the future. But I just feel like taking a full week off will look bad in their eyes.

I know I'm being totally illogical, but I can't help it.

Amazing Jakes, a review.

Amazing Jakes...not all that amazing. For unlimited rides, some arcade games, and an unlimited buffet, it was $25 per person. However, the go-kart track and the bumper car area are very small. There are some amusement type rides for kids about Kayden's age, but not many. Oh, they also have laser tag, which I heard was really cool.

In any event, we decided that if we go back, we would just pay by the points (everything is part of a "points system"). Don't get the unlimited because you won't want to do everything.

October 19, 2007

A Scarf for Rena

This job is for the birds.

Here's why:

1. A broker walked by my desk, set his Starbucks drink down, said, "Throw this away for me, will you?" and walked away.

2. An emailed invitation for a case study went out to everyone. I asked what it was about. Office Manager said, "Remember that thing we did last year" and describes it. I said, "Oh, I wasn't invited to that." She replied, "That's because you're in a "different" position..." meaning I'm not really invited to this year's either because I offer no contributions.

3. In my former position with this company, there was a particularly grueling task that had to do with marketing. It took weeks of planning and labor. It was a royal pain in the ass. When I changed positions and we were revising my job description, I made sure to specify that that particular task didn't follow me. However, Office Manager just informed me that she'll need my help on this task again. I reminded her that it's not on my job description...it's on the description of the girl in my former position. She replied, " doesn't know how to do it...you do. And I need you to show me how to do it." Well, you know what? I didn't know how to do it either. I had to figure it out for myself.

4. People having conversations directly behind my back. People talking loudly in front of my desk while I'm trying to talk on the phone. People walking behind me all...day....long.

October 18, 2007

Nervous for graduation.

And it's still two months away.

I just got the email that gives the schedule of events and other information. It says that 7,000 people are expected to attend.


That doesn't even count the actual graduates. I have to walk in front of 10,000+ people?!

Eeek! ::hyperventilates::

I'm just imagining when I trip and go flying off the stage, everyone will sit up and say, "Wow...and she is an honor student? Uh-huh...just handing those awards out to anyone these days, eh?"

October 12, 2007

A review of my exorcism and other fun facts.

I was feeling pretty lousy at work yesterday and I finally decided to leave around 2:30. I went straight to take my Latin midterms. I was kind of worried because, while I'm doing just fine with the vocabulary, I don't have all the conjugations and declensions memorized. Well, I went into the room where about 8 other students were taking the same exam. I sat down and whipped through the exam in about 20 minutes. I finished before everyone else. By far. After I turned the exam in, the teacher stepped outside to go over the test with me. I got an A. And in the time it took to go over the test, only one other person had finished theirs.

So I went home and tried to relax for a couple hours, which didn't work. I was so incredibly worn out and felt lousy. Finally, I got up because Josh and Kayden came home. I fed Kayden and took him to my friend's house with me.

Now, you may remember my post a couple nights ago about how my friend, Tracy, called me. She was worried about the severity of my night terrors. She honestly thinks it is demons causing them. Because she's one of my dearest friends, I humored her and went over to her house. I am so glad I did. Her friend, Mary, was there and I talked to her for awhile. Mary had gone through almost the same thing as me for 30 years. It was so great to finally talk to someone who understood what I'm going through. I've met people who say, "Oh yeah, sure...that happens to me too." (Or worse yet, "Yeah, I have nightmares too." AAAHH! I want to reply, "Yeah, it's like a nightmare except that I'm awake. Now what do you think?") You can tell it's not the same and they don't understand. This time, we talked and talked and I knew she was going through the same thing. It was so great. Moreover, we talked about how when we've tried to tell people about this, their advice is something like, "Just reason/laugh/talk yourself through it." It's so frustrating because they obviously don't understand. As Mary said, it's like if someone broke their ankle and someone else said, "Well just stand on it and it'll feel better."

While talking and listening to Mary, there were so many things that had been happening to me that I never really thought of or thought were connected with the terrors. The feeling that someone is standing right over me, thinking I hear someone walking around at night, hearing noises throughout the house, thinking I see someone standing in my closet...these are all things that I never really told Tracy or even gave much thought to...until Mary described the exact same experiences. Very weird to say the least. We talked about how even when we get a full night's sleep, we're not rested. It was all the same.

We all (Tracy, Mary, and Tracy's husband) had a great talk. We talked about how I've always worried that these terrors could be a sign of mental illness, which runs rampant in my family. We talked about how they could be stress-related. We did approach religion, which was kind of awkward...but no harm done. They know where I stand, I know where they stand. Mary's advice was, while experiencing the terror, to pray in my head and see if that helps. I'm not big on prayer, but anything that might help, I'll try.

So, the whole point of the evening was that Tracy and her husband wanted to pray over me and they did. I was fine with it. I told them it couldn't hurt. They did and after a while, we went home. This morning, I woke up much more easily and felt so much better since yesterday, more awake. Could be a coincidence, but nothing else had changed. Tracy called me first thing to ask how I'd slept. I told her really well. She said she woke up a couple times during the night to pray for me.

Now, I'm not ready to believe that it IS an evil force making me see these things. But I'm not ready to discount it just yet. I've always believed in good and evil spirits...I'm just not sure I believe that they can "attack" you.

The JC Hat Again

Being modeled by none other than JC herself...

Furf and BabyBoy

I got this adorable picture from a friend and her son displaying the hats they bought. So cute!

October 10, 2007

Poor Kayden.

He told me that, while his BFF at school is being nicer to him, he had no one to play with at recess yesterday. One group of kids told him that they already had too many players for their game (which was a make-believe dragons game). He said he sat on the wall the whole time and had nothing to do.

Now, he's a bit of a pouter like I was at his age. But it makes me so sad for him to feel like he has no one to play with at recess. I had literally one friend at a time until sixth grade. But I don't want him to go through that at school.

I explained that everyone goes through a time where they feel like no one wants to play with them. Then I asked if he could read a book (no...no books or toys allowed on the playground). They are allowed to bring a snack for recess, so I packed a snack for him. I said if he found himself sitting on the wall alone again, at least he could eat his snack.

Poor kid. I forget how hard it can be at that age. If you don't have anyone to play with, it can be so embarrassing. For me, I got used to being alone at such a young age that it never really bothered me. That's probably the reason why, now, I have no qualms about dining alone, going to a movie by myself, going on trips by myself, etc.

October 5, 2007

Kayden's Fundraiser.

Email to Josh:

Here are the two fundraiser brochures…in case you want to coerce your coworkers into buying anything.

Here are some keywords and phrases to remember while asking them: “poverty”, “a brighter future”, “high hopes”, “only chance”, “destitute” and any others you feel may help the dude’s cause.

You may also read The Little Matchstick Girl to them and reiterate the sadness of how no one bought matchsticks from the little girl and she slowly froze to death.

The things this humorless wench finds funny.

- While walking on the street, the street sign that directs you when to walk was smashed in. The little white guy looked as though his crotch were on fire.

- While driving into the parking garage, there is a picture on the arm that raises up. It's a guy being smashed on the head by the arm. Lightning bolts abound.

- I just sneezed and my wireless headset flew off. It was awesome.

October 3, 2007

Pet Peeve re: Books.

I HATE when an author describes a character as looking like someone famous. For example, in Helen Fielding's "Olivia Joules...", a character is described as looking like Eminem. I think that is such a cheap and lazy thing to do.

On the other hand, if while a character is talking and they mention that so-and-so looks like a famous person, that's much better, IMO. "He's so hot...he looks like a young Antonio Banderas..." That's okay.

This random pet peeve was brought to you by hours and hours of reading stupid books.