May 9, 2011

Mother's Day, Elephant Mud, and Other Grand Adventures

So, yesterday was Mother's Day, in case you hadn't noticed. Which means you must have not been anywhere near a store, a billboard, the internet...or your children. Shame on you. Anyhow, despite my feelings of grumpiness surrounding the holiday, Keene and the children really turned it out this year.

One night while I was out drinking margaritas, Keene had gotten the idea to make earrings for me, which is always a great idea. He let the kids design their own pairs, choosing from my collection of thousands of buttons and beads. Here is what they came up with:

Here is Kayden's design:

Here is Maia's design:

And lastly, here is Keene's design:

Hooray for new and funky jewelry!

Doesn't that make you want to go out and snag a handy, jewelry-making boyfriend of your own?

Seriously, do it. Your wife won't mind.


Here is some funniness to make this god-forsakingly slow day go by a little quicker.

This is part of a hilarious article written by Jessica Wakeman at Click here to read the full article.

What do your musical tastes say about you?

BeyoncĂ© / Britney Spears: Urban, professional 20-something women who belong to expensive gyms and have a “workout playlist” on their iPhones.

Lady Gaga: College girls who wear sloppily applied eye makeup on purpose, unrealistically hopeful NYU theater majors.

Katy Perry: Conservatively raised teenage girls who want one of their parents to get annoyed at the lyrics to “I Kissed A Girl.”

Fergie: Women who watch “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” because they can, like, relate, not because it’s a trainwreck.

Tori Amos: Women who feel too much, play piano, hate their stepfathers.

Adele: Women with messy personal lives.

Amy Winehouse: Women with even messier personal lives.

Rilo Kiley: Women who need a prescription for Lexapro ASAP.

Alanis Morrisette: Women who are cool beans so long as they remember to take their Lexapro regularly.

Pink: Women who’ve discovered the effects of their Lexapro are rendered obsolete by the amount of alcohol they consume.

Regina Spektor: Boring women who fancy themselves “quirky.”

Ben Folds: Boring men who fancy themselves “quirky.”

Feist: Pale, urban women with bangs who wear owl-shaped jewelry they bought on Etsy.

Sheryl Crow: Suburban moms who work at the front desk in doctors’ offices. Also, dental assistants.

Duffy: People who purchase their music exclusively at Starbucks.

Enya: Women who have “spells.”

Nina Simone: White people who fancy themselves connoisseurs of jazz music because they own one of her albums. (This description does not apply if you own more than one album.)

U2: Free-spirited souls who strangely have no qualms spending $300 on concert tickets through Ticketmaster.

Girl Talk: Any hipsters you want to smack upside the head for being posers.

Sufijan Stevens: Any hipster you want to smack upside the head for being a poser but who actually has good musical taste.


In addition to celebrating Mother's Day this past weekend, we also finally celebrated Maia's 7th birthday (which was actually on Easter). We took her and a few little girls to the zoo to par-tay. Unfortunately, this is the only picture I took the whole day, because I was too busy rallying the girls to just keep walking. Really, little girls? You're going to let an out-of-shape, nearly-30-year-old woman show you up in the energy department? Well, they did.

Maia is in the stripey dress:

The most memorable part of the day was the elephants, which were unusually active. One elephant sucked up water in its trunk, then sprayed it into the dirt at its feet. It swirled the water around and made mud. Then it sucked up some mud in its trunk and lifted the trunk to spray the mud onto its back.

I flinched because I thought we were going to get sprayed when it lifted its trunk, but then relaxed when the mud didn't come. However, just as I let down my guard, hundreds of drops of mud came racing across the 20+ foot gap, toward us.

Elephant-trunk mud in my hair, all over my arms, all over Keene, all over the little girls in party dresses.

Yup, we know how to party.


Now, I've tried and I've tried to come up with non-crochet-related topics, despite that taking up a significant amount of my time lately. But I am vowing to save all hat-talk for the next post. Instead, here is my single crochet boast for this post:

That's Kayden, learning to crochet.

(Did anyone else read "boast for this post" and think, "You're a poet and you didn't know it"? If so, shame on you again.)


And now I'm leaving you with a picture of my commute, because I enjoy the juxtaposition every day: beautiful lake on one side, congested freeway on the other.

Such is life.

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