July 23, 2010

Reservations for Three

(Reposted from True Love Direct)

For many people, discovering that his or her partner has been with another person is devastating and can even indicate the end of the relationship. However, for some adventurous folks, this is just another Friday night. Increasingly, our country is becoming more open-minded about sexual activities. Threesomes, open relationships, and swinging are becoming less taboo and more common. Yet, regardless of their rising popularity, these acts may not be for every couple.


Also known as a ménage a trios, the threesome is no stranger to the world of sex. As long as two people have been engaging in coitus, there have likely been threesomes going on, as well. The appeal is easy to see: if one partner is good, two are even better. It takes the simple act up a notch. It can be a casual tryst among strangers or it can add spice to a long-running relationship.

Open relationships, on the other hand, is often seen as a “last resort” for a failing marriage. However, some couples may believe that “no one person can fulfill all of their needs,” which is why they choose to step outside of the marriage (and away from their spouses) to fill that need. In some cases, the spouse may not be able to physically (or want to) engage in sex, whether due to impotence or just lack of a sex drive. Together, they may decide that they will open up that portion of their marriage to outsiders. Though it is sometimes confused with infidelity, an open relationship must be acknowledged by both partners in order to be considered as such.

Falling under the category of open relationships, swinging is another sexual activity performed by some of the more adventurous folks. However, it differs because, rather than each person going out and finding a sexual partner, they “swap” with another couple. The husband of Couple #1, for example, will have sex with the wife of Couple #2 and vice versa.

With each of these acts, you are bringing another person (or several) into your relationship. This can almost certainly take a toll, if you are not careful. Your partner could become jealous at seeing you with another person. You could find yourself falling in love with the husband of the couple with which you swing. And, as with any casual sex situation, you open yourself up to possible infections or diseases if you don’t use proper protection.

Nevertheless, you can take precautions to ensure that, while your sex life may be rocking, your marriage won’t get rocky. Before opening up your relationship in any way, you and your partner must be on the same page. Talk about what you hope to gain from having sex with strangers. Is it for fun and excitement in an otherwise great marriage…or just a way to put a Band-Aid on existing problems? If so, you can just toss the relationship aside now, because no amount of wild sex with strangers will fix the underlying problem.

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