July 22, 2010

Dating a Stripper: The Pros, The Woes, and The Hos

(Reposted from Ask Dan and Jennifer)

It would be both unfair and inaccurate to say that one can’t have a successful relationship with a stripper. To start, no two strippers are alike: they have different upbringings, different philosophies and ideals, different motives, and even different entrance songs. However, there are relationship problems which are specific to people working in this industry. These are not meant to dissuade you from dating Ms. Right-Up-On-Stage, but rather, to help you decide if you will be compatible.

The first thing you must consider is her reason for stripping. This can be a telling factor in whether you may want to stay with her or not. If, for example, she is just working her way through college (as the tired cliché goes), then it may be possible to temporarily set aside any misgivings you may have. Yet if she strips because it gives her power or makes her feel desirable, be prepared for a low self-esteem and a whole lot of baggage.

What are her future plans for stripping? Is it a gig…or is it a career? While you may not begrudge her for “doing what she has to do” for a couple months, will you be as accepting after several years? Think of if/when you decide to have children. There is no maternity leave for strippers, no Bring Your Child to Work Day. Moreover, in the event that she is laid off or fired, many strippers find it difficult to transition into a regular job—-not only because of the drastic difference in compensation, but also, commonly, because of their lack of job skills. Knowing how to hang upside down on a pole will not fix a jammed printer or create a spreadsheet.

Then there is the joke about how the sex lives of both gynecologists and strippers dwindle because they don’t like bringing their work home. Yet there is a bit of truth to it. When a stripper spends every night forcing intimacy with strangers, it can become difficult to not force it at home, as well. Also, after feeling objectified by lusty men night after night, she may less than stoked to find an amorous boyfriend waiting at home.

“What about the pros?” you ask. There may be some benefits to dating a stripper. To start, she has to at least be somewhat attractive, right? Probably has a nice body and decent sense of rhythm. If she goes into the industry with a rational mind, she will have entertaining stories to tell. And frankly, you get to have what hundreds of guys want.

But what about the other kind of pros? I’m talking about the professionals, the strippers who take their craft to the next step as a way to rake in even more money. This stereotype holds more than just a nugget of truth: there are many strippers who have sex or perform other physical acts with clients. Unfortunately, this is a large part (albeit unofficial) part of the lifestyle. Not every stripper will succumb to this impromptu pay-raise; but let’s face it, she will be exposed to it.

What a bummer, I know. It doesn’t sound nearly as sexy or glamorous as it did in your head when you and your buddies saw her dancing last Friday. Nevertheless, if you feel none of this is a dealbreaker, give it a try. Don’t let this dressing down steer you away from what could be true love.

1 comment:

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