July 30, 2010

Avoiding Land Mines While Playing the Field

(Reposted from True Love Direct)

The best part about dating is being able to meet lots of different people at once. You can get a feel for what type of people you like, dislike, want to see again, and want to forget you ever knew. When you aren’t ready to jump into a committed relationship just yet (or maybe you are, but haven’t found the right person to leap with), you may want to play the field.

Playing the field is essentially a casual approach to dating. You meet and date many different people, without committing to anyone. Your intention may be the discovery of your soul mate through process of elimination. Or maybe you just want to have fun. Regardless of your reasons for it, here are some ways to make your field-playing experience a positive one.

Be honest.
The quickest and most common way a man gets himself in trouble is by leading a girl on, with no intentions of seeing her again. Sure, he’s more likely to get action right away if he promises to call in the morning. However, honesty ensures no stalker-esque calls, no awkward chance encounters, and no hurt feelings. Be upfront and tell her, “I really like you, but I am not looking for a relationship.” Despite what some people may think, you can date without being in a relationship.

Be graceful.
If you are at a club, hitting on guys left and right, and you see a previous conquest walk in, either talk to him as a friend or tactfully duck out of the building. Go somewhere else. If you are going to stay, don’t ignore him in favor of more desirable men. Just because you don’t intend to carry out a relationship with him, it doesn’t mean you can’t remain friends.

Be realistic.
If you plan to date multiple people, expect that the people you date will also be dating multiple people. You cannot dictate how (or with whom) they spend their time. You cannot demand they be monogamous with you, if you are not exclusively seeing them.

Be safe.
Because you cannot stop a man you are casually dating from having sex with another woman, know the risks involved. You do not know what kind of protection they may be using (or not using), just as you do not know what kind of infections that person/s may be carrying. If you are going to engage in intercourse, always use protection.

Be open to love.
Sometimes love finds you even when you are adamantly avoiding it. If you have been casually dating a girl for months and find yourself wanting to see other women less and less, don’t ignore that feeling. If suddenly the field seems emptier and less fun, maybe you are ready to try more of an intimate setting? You have regaled friends with (and maybe even bragged about) stories of your single life, but if you feel like it is no longer the right path for you, don’t force it. Know when to drop your glove and leave the field altogether.

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