June 18, 2010

For Witches Stand, Knobby Girlfriends, and a Facial Vortex

Keene is making me watch Twin Peaks, as revenge for my previously forcing him to watch the entire series (and first movie) of Sex and the City. Strange show. We like to come up with lyrics to the opening theme. So far, what we've come up with is: "Twin Peaks! Twin Peaks!" to match the twangs. It's not very inspired, I know. We're still working on it.

Sometimes we also throw in "Pop-u-la-tion fifty...thousand!" or "Wash-ing-ton!" to accompany the synthesizer.

Lately, we've been watching it while kind of drunk, though.

You want to know how weird this show is? Watch this very serious clip:

(Or click here if the video doesn't pop up.)

It's "just you and me," James. I hate you.

So, in short, strange show, strange boyfriend. Keene, you freakin' weirdo, this is for you:


While I was writing that just now, I saw Rick's comment in the Ladder Day post, asking me to draw a witch saluting a flag. And, well, I love a good ol' request. So, here you go, Rick:

Along those lines, when I was young, my favorite Madonna song was "La Isla Bonita." Except, not knowing Spanish at the time, I thought the chorus said, "Lakislah Boneetah." I imagined she was singing about somewhere in an exotic Slavic country.

That was also around the same time in my life when I played McDonalds, using neighborhood mailboxes as drive-through windows. I would drive my bike up to one, lift the flag so the employees inside would know I was waiting, then I would open the box and relay my order. The hollow echo it produced sounded as if the employee were repeating my order back to me (though supernaturally fast...no McDonalds employee is that efficient).

The fun stopped abruptly when an angry neighbor threatened to call the police on me. Apparently, playing with other people's mailboxes is illegal.

Oh, but my point is that, as a kid, I was probably functioning on only one jet engine.


Remember when I said that this was my creepiest face ever? Well, I was wrong:

Bet you didn't know I had a vortex in the middle of my face. Don't be a hater.

Lastly, two recommendations.

This is my newest favorite song. If you reached deep into my soul, swam through the lake of Pina Colada, ran past the Slim Jim guy punching up my stomach, and went straight to where the essence of my being lies, you'd come up with something a lot like this. Remember the briefcase in Pulp Fiction? If I were fancy enough to have a briefcase, I would keep this song in it.

Chris Garneau's "Fireflies"

The second recommendation is the blog, Stacy Says. This chick finds the most random, the most asinine, and the most splendid stuff to blog about.

1 comment:

Rick said...

See, now *that's* what I'm talkin' about. A witch. Standing (sorta). A flag. Lots of stars. It's as if my childhood brain has come to life right on the page. Thanks!