June 21, 2010

Bacon and Eggs at the Burlesque Show

Have you ever watched your child perform onstage, executing a skill that either comes naturally or with hours of practice, finishing to the thunderous cheers of the impressed audience? In that moment, you feel overwhelming pride in having created something so beautiful, as well as excitement at being a part of such a special moment in your child's life. You know the feeling?

Well, that's how I felt on Saturday night, while watching my crocheted creations flopping around on the front of a male burlesque dancer's skivvies.

Many events occurred which led up to this proud moment.

1) Awhile back, I got the idea to make a picnic blanket. This included crocheting many food items, among which was a single egg and strip of bacon.

While I had been planning to sell the food items and blanket together, probably to a boutique or something, I decided to list the individual food items for sale at the recent...

2) Rock and Roll Garage Sale at Three Kings Tavern last week, because...

3) I lost my wallet, which was so full of cash that it made me sick for about two weeks. But that's another post in itself. The point is that I needed to earn some scratch to make up for this pukingly large loss.

So there I was at the garage sale with Keene, irresponsibly drinking away our profits as we earned them.

Then a blue-haired chick walked by our table, picked up the egg and bacon and squealed, "These are perfect!" In my drink-haze, I said, "Oh, uh, thanks." She asked if I had another egg. I said no, but that it took less than an hour to make one. She asked if I would be willing to make another egg, then bring it to her later. Sure, I would!

She then introduced herself as part of Ooh La La, a local burlesque troupe. She doubles as the costume designer and had been looking for eggs and bacon to cleverly arrange on the front of a dancer's underwear for a chef-themed act.

In exchange for the two eggs and bacon, I scored a pass to the show, Boylesque. Yes, even though I had no money (and no driver's license), I accepted a free pass to a burlesque show, rather than money. Let me tell you right now: sometimes my priorities are out of wiggity-wiggity-whack.

Okay, back story is finished. Let's just move on to the pictures of naked dudes, mmkay?

Warning: while the dudes aren't actually naked (and while my phone takes sucky photos), they are still down to their itty-bitty undies. So, uh, don't click the link at work, because your IT guy is most likely monitoring your internet usage. And if he wasn't before, he certainly will be after this.

(Oh, and a side note: I talked with my dad yesterday and told him about this after he innocently asked how my crocheting was coming along. I gave him my blog address, so this may be the first post of mine he reads. In that case, uh...hi, Dad! Colorado is great!)

Hey! Glad you made the jump (though honestly, Keene, I'm a little surprised to see you in here). On with the show.

So, the guy wearing my pieces came out first, wearing a chef's outfit. He danced his clothes away until he was wearing just an apron and boxer shorts, which he removed to reveal the eggs-and-bacon-underwear. The crowd cheered. It was a great moment for Bitter o'Clock.

Moving on, I'm not going to post a recap of the whole night. But I will post some more photos and I will also tell you, if you live in the Denver area, you need to see one of these shows sometime. They are rowdy, hilarious, and dirty.

A barbaric, caveman-esque fight:

This act was a chimney-sweeper theme, with the boys dancing to Mary Poppins' "Chim Chim Cheree":

There were even a couple boobies:

For the big finale, all of the dancers dressed as sailors and stripped, while Dick Fitzwell sang "Beyond the Sea."

Note from the Future: here's a video of my bacon and eggs!


If you can't watch the whole thing, skip ahead to 2:15.

No comments: