April 27, 2010

An Open Letter to the Motorcylist with the Purple Jacket


Dear Motorcyclist,

You're pretty cool. We all know this. You can maneuver into tight spaces between cars, you can swerve easily, and you can even travel on the shoulder to avoid sitting in traffic like the rest of us jackasses.

Nevertheless, when you wound up driving in front of me in the slow shuffle we call our commute, please don't make the mistake of thinking it was because of your rad driving skills. Rather, I had to slam on my brakes so you didn't wind up fully pressed into my driver's side door, leaving a crotch-rocket-shaped dent on my car.

I'm sure you are a super guy, with your purple leather jacket and all. I would hate to see you wind up looking like a pile of bloody vomit on the side of the road, because you failed to look where you going prior to changing lanes at a zip-fast pace. I assure you, we (in our boring sedans and SUVs) will still think you are the tops even if you slow it down a bit and avoid driving in the areas which regular motorists cannot travel.

In the meantime, you are giving all motorcyclists a bad name. Cut it out.

Sincerely,


Girl with Sweaty Palms Gripping the Wheel of Old-Man Car

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