April 9, 2010

How to Get His Mom to Like You

(Reposted from Ask Dan and Jennifer)

There is something sacred about the bond between a mother and her son. She becomes fiercely protective when another woman swoops in and threatens to steal him away. Suddenly, scenarios flash through her mind: he stops calling her, he moves away, he ruins his whole life just to be with this girl. All of the mother’s hard work in raising a good kid, down the drain. Help ease her mind (and make her love you) with these tips.

Show Her How Much You Care About Her Son
If there is any one way to make his mother like you, it is this. Deep down, all she really wants is for him to be with someone who will love him and appreciate him like she does. Just saying, “Gosh, I really care about your son” won’t be enough. You need to show her by holding his hand, smiling at him, laughing with and complimenting him. Even when he’s not around, brag about him to her. Yet this shouldn’t be purely show for her benefit. These are things you should genuinely be doing anyways because, well, you do care for him.

Never, Never, Never Make Her Choose Sides
Your arguments do not and should not involve her. You should never call her after a fight or try to get sympathy from her. Not only will she always choose her son over you, but this will be the fastest way to make her dislike you.

Get To Know Her
She is not just a mother. There are many more aspects to her personality and her being. Talk to her about her hobbies, her job, her other kids, what she does in her spare time. If your relationship becomes more permanent, you will be around her a lot. Getting to know her early on will create more of a familial bond which can be very rewarding in the future. If possible, spend some alone-time with her, over lunch or while doing a fun activity together.

Compliment Her
Yeah, you may want to suck up a bit. Tell her you like the pretty scarf she’s wearing. Comment on the beautiful new dining room table. Relay some of the nice things your boyfriend has told you about her. Go for the golden compliment and tell her what a great job she did in raising her son. Even if she sees right through your plan, she will appreciate that you want her to like you.

Involve Your Boyfriend
This is probably the sneakiest and least heartfelt ways of getting her to like you, but if all else is failing, have your boyfriend talk you up. Next time he calls her or visits her without you around, ask him (or bribe him) to tell his mom some of the reasons why he likes you. If she sees her son is happy, she will be more likely to give you a chance.

Be Yourself
There’s a reason your boyfriend loves you, right? Heck, there are probably lots of reasons. Don’t get down on yourself, trying to impress his mom. Chances are, she’ll see why her son is crazy about you, without you even putting forth a special effort.

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