April 22, 2010

The Hidden Stakes in Your Relationship's Heart

(Reposted from Ask Dan and Jennifer)

What are the most common reasons a relationship ends? Infidelity, loss of interest, incompatibility, or lack of communication. Wow, those are all pretty big indicators that something is wrong within a relationship. However, what about those small things people never think twice about, the minor happenings you may not even notice seeping in? Here are some problems which could actually be killing your relationship from the inside out.

The Road To Hell Is Paved With Good Intentions
“I am only telling you this because I love you.” Ah, the words of friends and family. Sometimes they have the best intentions. They may see something in your partner to which you have turned a blind eye. But sometimes, they just can’t see past their own opinions—such views that may have nothing to do with your partner at all. So what if your family thinks he is pompous or your friends think she is ditzy? This input has a way of crawling into your mind, taking hold, and poisoning a relationship. There are times when you need to listen to those you love (such as when they are worried for your safety, money, job, or other factors which do not involve “but you’re too good for him/her!”) and there are times when you need to tell them to butt out. Keep in mind, however, if it is not just one or two people but your whole clan warning you away…you may want to pay a little attention.

Video Game Break-Up Box
“Just another minute, I’m close to beating this level!” Archaeologists will someday look back on our generation and refer to the computer or Wii as the Break-up Box. “Many people of long ago (particularly the males) used to get so absorbed within the workings of this strange device that it would drive away the partner and sever the relationship altogether. Fascinating!” they will ruminate. It is no surprise that, when doing a Google search of “World of Warcraft” and “divorce,” there are nearly a million hits. A person can become so engaged with a game that he or she will lose focus of what is really important. Don’t be that guy.

Getting Too Comfortable
“Can we please go out or something?” One of the best parts of being in a relationship is feeling so comfortable with another person that you do not have to get dressed up, you do not have to entertain them at all times, you can just…be…you. Yet this is one of the biggest traps into which a couple can fall. A person can become so comfortable in his or her relationship that they stop caring about their appearances, take their partner for granted, and may even become an outright bore. When this happens, it becomes very difficult for the girl/boyfriend to want to remain in that relationship. It is not just possible, but likely, if you are not careful. While you can certainly allow comfort into the relationship, don’t let it become the entire relationship.

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