Every girl has a girl-crush. It could be Girl-Crush's appearance, her talent, her humor, her life...whatever it is, it draws the attention. Girl-crushes are usually harmless (and maybe even titillating as an idea to men) and rarely pose any actual threat to one's current relationship. Nevertheless, these are the women I love so much that I might consider leaving my boyfriend for them one day.
1. Allie Bosch of Hyperbole and a Half.
I'm pretty sure she is my soul mate. Consider the evidence:
- She hates to shower
- She lives like a hobo
- Her own boyfriend also does some technical, lab-based work which she does not understand.
- She's uptight about spelling and grammar...even on the internet
- She struggles with being a real adult
- She occasionally cuts her own hair
- She draws awesome pictures on the computer:
(Except that I don't really draw awesome pictures on the computer. I occasionally draw weird and/or lewd stick figures on the computer. Close enough.)
2. Danielle Ate the Sandwich.
This is a local singer/songwriter. She writes interesting and sometimes moving lyrics and sings them with the accompaniment of her ukulele. She started getting popular after making goofy videos on YouTube, and has since become a regular at the clubs and festivals around town. Her commentary between songs and her rap-laden rendition of Hall & Oates' "Rich Girl" made me decide that she should be my girlfriend. Plus, she's nerdy and adorable.
Angelina Jolie (Eek! Way too many kids!)
3. Stephanie of Nienie Dialogues.
Stephanie is a mother of four kids who blogs about and takes beautiful pictures of her everyday life. She nearly died in a plane crash a couple years ago, but pulled through. Now she is badly scarred and in near-constant pain. Yet she still writes about the joy she finds in simple moments. While the stories of her struggles are compelling, what draws me to her is her devotion to her husband and family. Even before the crash, she wrote love letters to her husband, talked about how great he is. It was (and is) refreshing to read about a couple still so much in love after being together for so long. One post in particular actually made me tear up. (Pfft...just a little, though.) After the crash, with both Mr. Nielsen's and Stephanie's faces burned and scarred, they had to "re-learn" how to kiss. The pictures are devastating and beautiful.
This one should come as no surprise to Keene or anybody else. I've known Kort for over five years and together we have been through marriages, divorces, custody battles, drinking binges, and many more wild adventures which I may or may not share with this blog. The difference between Kort and the aforementioned women is that she would probably leave her boyfriend for me too. So, Keene and Sean, be good to us...or else. (I was going to post a video of me and Kortney which will make you pee in your pants and wish you had your own pocket-Kortney to brighten your day. However, Photobucket is being a bitch. So here's a photo. I'm let down too.)
5. Aryn of My Enlightenment.
While Kort has helped me through major life events, Aryn was there from the start to help with all of the minor life events: awkward first kisses (on Rollerblades, no less!), period messes (sometimes literally...ew!), evil teachers, family drama. In the 15 years since we've been Best Friends Forever, we've watched one another grow, change, occasionally regress, then grow some more. However, what makes me have a girl-crush on Aryn is beyond my control. She has magical pheromones which know no gender or distance boundaries. She makes men weepy and women insane with passion and adoration. It's creepy, but she can't help it. She's like an X-Men (Man?).
(Yes, I'm wearing the same scarf in the last two pictures. If I could get a photo with the first three chicks without getting arrested or maced, I'd likely be wearing that scarf in those pictures, as well.)
Notes from the Future: I just noticed I'm wearing the same shirt in those pictures too.
Now that's just embarrassing.