March 12, 2010

Review: GB Fish and Chips

On my way to work this morning, my car suddenly slowed and lurched for a minute. It acted as though it were running out of gas, but that couldn't be true. I know for a fact that once it flashes "Low Fuel," I have approximately 18 miles to get to a gas station. So by my calculations, I still had a few miles of fumes on which to drive when it began lurching.

Nevertheless, on my lunch break, I went looking for a gas station. I drove up Broadway, not realizing how much construction goes on during the day. I drove and drove, until I finally pulled into a 7-11. While pumping the gas, I noticed a little toy dinosaur lying in the road. I weighed the pros and cons about going and picking it up. I finally decided not to, but now I kind of regret it. Oh well, my act of indecisiveness will surely make the next kid who chances by very happy.

So, having found myself pretty far north on South Broadway, I swung by GB Fish and Chips. The parking lot was crazy and the garbage man thought I was going to hit him with my car, but I wasn't worried about that. I walked in and it was packed--to be expected at the lunch hour. Fifteen minutes later, I was finally leaving with my to-go box in hand. I found a parking lot where I could eat and read in peace, far from the construction zone.

I had ordered the battered cod with fries and drink (approximately $9.00). The cod and tartar sauce was like a taste of greasy heaven. Fantastic. It was hot, the batter was on the thin side. Nevertheless, I felt sick after eating just three because it was more grease than my stomach was used to accommodating. But I would eat those three cods again in a minute.

The fries were, well, fries. Hard to screw up fries, but they were also nothing worth writing about. Well, except for the last twenty words I just wrote. I sprinkled them with malt vinegar because, even though I don't like the taste of it, I can't help it. That stuff is addictive. Like crack. I can't imagine with all the chemicals in crack that it actually tastes good. But then again, you don't really taste crack, right? You smoke it or inject it. Hmm...well, it probably doesn't smell good, but it's addictive. And that's like malt vinegar. It tastes like the smell of McDonalds' iced tea, which tastes like the smell of cow pee.

So, uh, yeah. GB is a pretty good place to go for lunch. Maybe next time I'll try a different side item, so as to avoid talking more about cow pee. No guarantees, though.

*Notes from the Future: apparently you don't inject crack. FYI.

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