February 17, 2010

Recognize Dating Warning Signs

(Reprinted from http://www.luvemorleavem.com/articles/2010/01/recognize-dating-warning-signs)

Nothing is worse than taking the time to get to know—and develop feelings for—that special somebody, only to discover their hidden monster. If only there were signs to look for during the early days of dating, signs you should steer away, signs that no amount of money spent on you will make this couple compatible. Look no farther: here are your signs.

1. Arguments. Simple, yes. Telling, absolutely. It has been said many times over that relationships should be easy in the beginning. You are still discovering one another, learning about each other’s likes and dislikes. While typical first dates may find the couple playfully arguing about the dinner bill, if you find yourself ready to go head-to-head with your date, this is a bad sign. As a relationship wears on, it becomes easier to find fault with a person, to start fights more easily. So wouldn’t it be better to get off on the right foot with the right person?

2. Differing beliefs, values, goals. This is a step beyond arguing, but equally (if not more) important. While the first couple dates are not the best time to discuss whether you want kids someday or whether you believe in an afterlife, you can get an idea of where your future together may stand. If you are the type who likes to spend your evenings relaxing with a loved one, yet your date reveals his love of the party scene, you may want to proceed with caution. This isn’t a dealbreaker, but such differences as these can, over time, create a drift in your potential relationship.

3. Treatment of others. One of the best pieces of dating advice is to watch how your date treats the staff. Is he kind to the waitress, or does he act demeaning? Does he laugh and talk with the bartender, or make snide comments to you? This is very indicative of his human nature. When a person is in a position of power (even if that power comes in the form of customer-server relations), it is important to see just how he or she will respond to it.

4. Rapport with friends. Friends aren’t always right. Especially when it comes to picking a guy for their friend, they will feel as if no one is good enough. Yet, when they see a catch, they will let you know. On the flip side, if all of your friends are rallying against your newest date, question why. It’s likely not a conspiracy to keep you alone forever.

5. Instinct, instinct, instinct. Many times, a person will ignore his or her gut when considering a relationship. Why? Because they don’t want to be alone. Sometimes, being with the wrong person can seem better than being with no person at all. Nevertheless, try, try, try to follow your instincts. If you have to talk yourself into seeing that mediocre guy again or if you are bothered by something but can’t put a finger on it, don’t do it. Realize that there are millions of single people in the world. There is no need to settle on one which is sending up your red flags.

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