August 24, 2009

Another loooooooooong weekend.

The kids have been bickering nonstop. The primary problem (which we all recognize) is that Maia just won't leave Kayden alone. He asks her nicely, then not-so-nicely, but she doesn't listen.

So, Friday night, after playing with her for much of the night, Kayden said he wanted to be left alone. Usually it's when he is watching a movie or playing with his toys. But she just kept on him until he got really upset. He started crying and told me, "I want to kill myself because my life is too hard."

Now, Kayden has a penchant for drama, but this shocked me. I talked to him for a long time, then put him to bed (it was late, anyways). Then I talked to Keene for a long time. At first, Keene was just kind of blase ("they'll get used to living with each other"), but I said, "How would you feel if Maia said what he said?" He replied, "I don't know...I've never heard her say anything like that." I said, "Neither had I until tonight."

I told him that whether Kayden was just being dramatic or not, something had to drastically change or this would never work out. If it's just me that is unhappy with the situation, that is one thing...but if my kid is this miserable, that is quite another.

The following day, Keene had a long talk with Maia about boundaries and respect. And all weekend, he was great about staying on top of her. On two different occasions, she was sent to her room because she just wouldn't stop. However, he followed through and she calmed down quickly. Even so, it was a tiring weekend.

She was sent to her room a third time when Keene asked her to pick up her toys in the living room when she was done playing with them. She threw a big fit. She cried when she couldn't bring three Slinkies into the car (just one). She cried when we asked them to be quiet after bickering in the car (even though Kayden quieted down immediately and until we got home).

I complimented Keene for following through when he asked her to do something (rather than in the past he would say, "Oh, okay...well, I'll do it then, but you'll do it next time").

Sooooooo...I had an epiphany of sorts this weekend. I've been so focused on whether this was the right or wrong decision. But really, it's been made. So I'm going to focus on *making* it the right decision. I'm going to get some recommended books about step-parenting from the library tonight. I'm sure Keene will be interested in reading them too. It'll be a start. Maybe it'll help me feel better and deal with it better.

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