August 25, 2008

I'm not exaggerating in the least when I say

that Dodo is a fucking psychopath sent from Hell by the Devil himself as some form of punishment or threat.

Seriously.

So, I clipped all the cats' nails tonight (which comes out to be, oh, about 3.4 million nails). While clipping a cat's nails, you can pretty much guarantee they'll squirm around, maybe even lash out at the clippers.

Dodo? She squirmed a whole lot, which isn't unexpected. But then she turned to me with her eyes all crazy-dialated (I HATE when she does that), looking like some crackhead with a knife that you've just stumbled across in a dark alley. So she turns to me, SCREAMS, and takes a swipe at my FACE! I couldn't fucking believe it. Not once, but twice, she ignores my hands (what any normal cat would go for), and instead tries to go for my fucking eyes.

Insane cat. I'm serious. Kort and I deduced that Scar Cat was really some 20s gangster reincarnated as a cat due to his shitty karma.

Dodo, however, I think MUST be some kind of reincarnation of a straight-jacket-wearing, asylum-living serial killer. That's the only logical explanation.

Exhibit A:

Her creepy eye-dialation trick:


::stands over cat, throwing down water:: The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you!!

(And my farts smell like a skunk, which makes this night all the more surreal.)

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