June 2, 2008

For better or worse...I'm going to foreclose.

I'm going to list all the reasons why I feel it's in my best interest.

- I hate living there. I was so miserable there in the past. I have absolutely no desire to continue living there.

- Having to keep it clean (and empty while living there) for the occasional showing is very stressful. Maybe I'm superficial, but it's very hard to not have my "stuff" around: no books, videos, photos, personal effects, etc. It is hard to live in this shell and constantly worry about keeping it spotless.

- So far, there have been no offers or any real interest on the place. The market is complete shit right now. Not to mention, Colorado is the fourth highest state in terms of foreclosures. People are buying foreclosed houses for super-cheap right now.

- The biggest problem is the money aspect. I could cut back on expenses, take up babysitting or a part-time job, get on assistance...the fact of the matter is that it's not enough. When you add up my mortgage, HOA fees, storage shed charge (which would go away by moving)...it comes out to more than a whole paycheck. About 1 1/4 paychecks. And while this may sound irresponsible, I'm not about to spend every free moment working and I'm not going to completely cut out the frivolousness in my life. I need to go out and have fun or I will go insane with the stress. If I were to bust my ass not only working and raising Kayden, but also cleaning whenever I'm home (for showings) and babysitting someone else's kid, all while skipping out on being with friends...I would be miserable. And frankly, life is too short for that.

- In addition to that reason, my credit is getting shitty anyways. I've been late on my electricity bill, my credit cards, my daycare, etc. And those are affecting my credit too. But those are more detrimental because they affect my (and Kayden's) everyday life. I simply can't afford the house costs, along with these expenses.

- Also, I have a good new-ish car and a couple high-limit credit cards. I have no plans to buy a house anytime soon. I've already finished school, so I don't need to apply for loans. I can get into an apartment before my credit reflects a foreclosure. So why exactly would having bad credit for the next couple of years be so horrible? Keep in mind that my credit was pretty much stellar to begin with. Even with the 200+ hit on my credit, my credit will still be in the "fair" range.

- Once I'm out of the house, I can work on paying down bills and credit cards and reestablishing a good credit score. There's no way to do this while I'm still in that house.

- I'm just ready to move on with my life. This is the biggest reason. I'm done with the house and the marriage and all the unhappiness of the past. I'm ready to take my kid (and my idiot cats) and move on and start rebuilding my life. Simple as that.

I talked with my g-ma and my dad for hours about this. They are the two people I look to for sound advice and logic on life matters. They both agreed that while foreclosure is a bad thing, it is the smartest move in my situation. And that makes me more confident about the decision.

Sooooooo...I'm actually going to look at an apartment for the second time because I liked it so much. If everything goes as planned, I'll be moving into it this weekend. I realize that with a foreclosure, there's a chance I'll end up owing the deficient on the house (the difference between what I owe and what they auction it off for), but I'm willing to accept this. I will also be making a call to them to see what my options are as far as working with this deficiency.

So, that's where I am at this point in my life: I'm in a hugely stressful situation, much more stressful than at any other point in my life--which really says something. However, I've never been happier or more at peace. I know everything will work out and I'm very optimistic about how things are going.

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