February 25, 2008

A Slight Attention-Whore

I say "slight" because I think it would be slight to some, but huge to me.

Anyhow.

Ever since the separation, I've been feeling really upset and not like myself. I have been impatient with Kayden. I didn't want to read books or crochet or be at home or anything. I just didn't want to do any of the quintessential "Kelli" stuff.

However, over the last couple of weeks, I've gotten more and more into the groove of things. I've started to read again, crochet again, I went golfing last weekend, Kayden and I are doing fun things again, etc. I feel like I'm getting back to myself, which is a great feeling.

I have to say that even though I dealt emotionally with the impending divorce throughout much of last year, I've really been taken by surprise at how hard it is to have your life completely thrown up in the air...even if it was by your own doing. There are times when I may be alone in the house or doing something and I just think to myself how strange it all is. My life is damn-near unrecognizable right now. I'm a single mother again. I won't be living in my home for too much longer. Even my habits and appearance are different. It's just all so strange. Not bad. But strange.

And as hard as everything is right now, I don't regret it one bit.

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