January 28, 2008


I really don't like being at home right now. And I hate feeling this way. I feel like I have very little patience for Kayden, which is rare. Normally, I'm one of the most patient people in the world...but lately, I'm kind of snappy and irritable. I try to hide it, but don't know if I do. On Saturday, when it was nearing the time to go home (since Josh had Kayden Friday night, I didn't go home), I started to get really down. Like, near the point of tears kind of down. I think that it's because I have to actually deal with a very emotional situation, as well as all of my responsibilities, when I go home...rather than distracting myself, which is what drinking and partying allows. I don't know. I just hate feeling this way, because normally I pride myself on being a great mother and a fairly domestic, responsible person.

::sigh:: I knew divorce/separation was hard, but I had no idea how it affected every part of your life.

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