January 31, 2008

Eep! Josh knows about _________.

So, remember when Josh had wanted to take Kayden overnight last week and Kayden freaked out, so I said Josh could stay the night at home and I'd sleep elsewhere?

Weeeeeeeeeell, looks like Josh took advantage of that situation and hacked into my computer, studied up on the history and links. He also discovered that I was selling the engagement ring.

He called me last night and said he had some awkward questions to ask. He came right out and asked if I was seeing someone. In my ever-graceful way, I said, "Now?" He said yes, I hesitated and said, yes, I was seeing someone. I absolutely hate lying.

He asked how long it had been going on...I said a week. He asked if I had known him longer and I said no. I reiterated to Josh that my seeing someone had absolutely nothing to do with WHY we're splitting up. He then asked about the engagement ring, if I was selling it because I need the money or because we're over. Um, both? No, I told him I need the money. He asked if I had asked for a separation instead of a divorce in order to string him along, to help pay for the mortgage. I told him I did it because I didn't think he could handle divorce talk right away, but that I'm done. I would be filing for divorce soon. He asked about what this all means for us and our relationship and that he wants me to stay in his life. I told him we'd deal with that as it comes.

We talked a little more, then hung up. About 10 minutes later, he called out of breath and slightly hysterical. He told me that the camcorder was for me. I told him I didn't want it and he needed to return it. He said it's too late to return it. If I want to sell it, I can...but it would mean a lot to him if I kept it. He said he feels like an asshole for not getting me a b-day/Christmas/graduation gift.

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