January 6, 2008

Dad of the Year.

Today, I came back (since Kayden's trip home was delayed) to find that he never stayed at a friend's house. He was still home.

So, I asked him what his plans were. He just replied, "I don't know." Ummmm...what? Clearly, he isn't planning on going anywhere after all. Moreover, he's acting like the fucking husband/dad of the year today. And I hate to say it, but it's really pissing me off. He bought all this equipment and supplies to help Kayden build his cub scout derby car and has been doing that all day. He even went out and played with Kayden for a bit.

I feel like he's not taking me seriously or that he thinks some superficial gestures (and ignoring the separation conversation) will change my mind. Ugh. I'm very tempted to take Kayden to sleep in a hotel tonight.

This is not going the way I had foreseen at all. This is just too weird and I feel like I'm supposed to act like everything is fine...like we just had an argument and it's over now.

Maybe this is my fault for not being dead-set on separation back when I still wanted this to work out. I guess that's the funny thing: back then, I felt separation might tear us apart.

Later, Josh asked, "Are you okay? You seem distant."

I think my head might have exploded at that point. My reply was something like this: "Uh uh, wha-- who-- oh um, WTF? Bwa--no, um..." Is he in denial or something?!

This is all so wrong. Maybe this is my fault for not being dead-set on separation back when I still wanted this to work out. I guess that's the funny thing: back then, I felt separation might tear us apart or that I was jumping the gun.

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