December 31, 2007

Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

I'm going to tell Josh I want a separation tonight.

I've decided that today is the ideal time. Kayden is leaving on a week-long road trip with his dad today. Josh will have tomorrow off, so he won't have to sit and stew at work. I can go and stay with Kort tonight to give us a little space.

(Oh, btw Kort, can I stay with you tonight?)

I'm freaking out. I think he's mad at me anyways at the moment, so that'll help.

Here's where I start asking questions. How do I bring up something like this? I'm thinking of just saying it right out and if he has questions then, I'll answer them, rather than having a long speech prepared.


Also, I feel kind of like a phony for asking for a separation when, as of right now, I don't think we'll ever get back together.

I want to sell our house, but the market is pretty bad right now. I don't know if Josh would move out, so it's likely we'll end up still living together for a couple months at least.

::hyperventilating::


Update:

Kortney gave me one of her anti-anxiety pills and I'm feeling much better about the whole thing. If you can't be brave, take a Klonopin, eh?

A friend will listen to your rantings and ravings.

A best friend will slip you a pill so you'll chill the fuck out.

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