September 27, 2007

Another bad night for my brain.

Last night, I awoke to see a writhing mass of snakes on my bedroom wall.

As I watched, they started moving closer to me. I actually scrambled over Josh and fell onto the floor to get away from them. Josh woke up and asked what was wrong. I mentioned something about the snakes getting closer to me. He was confused and I pointed to where the snakes were back on the wall--but they were not any closer to the bed than they had been at the beginning. I was so confused because they HAD moved closer to me. After a moment, the snakes disappeared altogether and I realized I had had another hallucinating episode.

I grabbed my pillow, went downstairs, and laid on the couch. I cried and cried for awhile out of embarrassment, fear, and confusion.

I finally fell asleep only to dream that, for whatever reason, I had to shoot and kill a child.

I woke up sobbing.

I hate my brain. And I'm tearing up again at work at the thought of all this.

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